362. How to STOP Chasing Validation & Become Your Own Best Friend w/ Valerie Greenberg

👉 Start here (free strategy call): freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

Today's conversation with TV personality and author Valerie Greenberg is a masterclass in shifting from external approval to inner authority. We dig into befriending the inner critic, choosing presence over the next "big high," and how to build your Confidence Community... those truth-tellers who both cheer you on and call you up. If you've ever felt like a black sheep trying to "catch up," this one brings you back to center.

In this episode, you'll learn

• Best-friend energy: Practical ways to befriend (not silence) your inner critic so you can respond instead of react.

• Ambition vs. acceptance: How to hold big goals while staying present on the "flatline" days.

• The curiosity reset: A simple "ask why" loop to process anxiety and stop chasing the next hit of validation.

• Confidence Community: Who belongs in it, how to find them, and why "the least powerful person" can change your life.

• Ego off, outcomes on: Following up without taking things personally—and using wins as smart re-engagement moments.

• Self-care ≠ vanity: Aligning workouts, sleep, and habits with feeling grounded (not performing for the feed).

• Breaking habits the honest way: From nail-biting to bigger patterns—how to assess, ask for help, and upgrade behavior.

Links & Resources

• Free Brand Strategy Call (Matt): freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

• Valerie's Book: You've Been Validated — Amazon link

• Valerie on Instagram: @valgreenberg

If this helped you…

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• Share this episode with the friend who's hardest on themselves.

• Leave a rating & review—tell us your favorite takeaway and tag Matt & Val on IG.

Time Stamps

• 00:00 — Why "you've been validated" starts with your own stamp of approval

• 02:40 — Being your own best friend (perfectionism, overthinking, and doing anyway)

• 05:16 — Presence over comparison: getting okay with "good enough today"

• 08:25 — "Where you are is right": ambition without self-rejection

• 10:45 — A porter's two minutes that lit up the whole day (character > status)

• 13:20 — Authenticity that translates on and off camera

• 14:54 — There's only one you: why the world needs your exact wiring

• 16:28 — Bullying, anxiety, and becoming a natural cheerleader

• 21:02 — Feeling feelings > fearing feelings (shadow work basics)

• 27:12 — Curiosity loop for the "flatline" days

• 29:42 — Self-care done right: intention > imitation

• 33:38 — How to assemble your Confidence Community (and who's worthy)

• 45:42 — The "lowest" person who unlocked the biggest break

• 49:20 — Valerie's one piece of advice: recognize and share your value