Respecting children's autonomy and self-understanding is explored in the podcast, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging their unique experiences. Dr. Becky highlights the phrase 'You're the only one in your body,' as a tool for empowering kids to trust their own preferences.
Children should be reminded that they are the only ones inside their bodies and know what they like, promoting autonomy.
Reflecting on and addressing inner child needs can improve parenting by avoiding past mistakes and supporting children effectively.
Deep dives
Encouraging Autonomy in Children
Parents are reminded to acknowledge that children are the only ones inside their bodies, implying that only they know what they truly like. Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of reinforcing this idea to children, enabling them to understand and respect their autonomy. Despite parents often assuming they know better, it is crucial for children to make decisions about their preferences to nurture self-understanding. By allowing children to choose in low-stakes situations, parents promote autonomy and reduce susceptibility to external influences, enhancing the child's self-awareness and decision-making skills.
Inner Child Work and Parenting
The podcast delves into the concept of inner child work, advising listeners to reflect on their own childhood needs and struggles to improve their parenting approach. By recognizing and addressing their inner child's unresolved issues, individuals can effectively parent and avoid repeating past mistakes. Engaging in therapy, such as with BetterHelp, is advocated as a tool to heal oneself and develop a deeper understanding of how personal experiences influence parenting. Through this introspective process, individuals can navigate their parental roles more consciously and support their children more effectively.
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Respecting Children's Autonomy and Self-Understanding
“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”
Dr. Becky (read Good Inside already!) says she tries to repeat it to get kids as often as possible: “You’re the only one in your body, so only you could know what you like.”
She probably repeats it as much for her kid’s benefit as theirs. Because of course, they know what they like. The problem is that we tend to assume that we know better. And how could that be true? We’re not inside them, we’re not the same as them, as much as they sometimes seem like us. As we’ve said before, ‘knowing better’ is a corrosive thing, because it becomes less true over time and it’s hard to turn it off once you’ve internalized the assumption.