Polycurious 67. What Two Terrible Breakups Taught Me with Jesse
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Dec 4, 2025 Jesse opens up about two tough breakups in non-monogamous relationships and how they affected his community standing. He discusses the valuable lessons learned from toxic partnerships, like recognizing red flags and the importance of effective communication. The conversation dives into how shifting narratives can lead to healthier connections. Jesse also shares advice on navigating social dynamics post-breakup and emphasizes the growth that comes from exploring polyamory.
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Portland Relationship Anarchy That Unraveled
- Jesse describes moving to Portland, joining a Burning Man camp, and entering a relationship anarchy experiment that quickly became strained.
- He says travel, NRE, and mismatched expectations about time and check-ins led to a painful breakup and community tension.
Make Breakups Clear Before Reframing
- Do give clear, timely endings instead of stringing someone along when a romantic relationship needs to change.
- Do consider separation before attempting a downshift to platonic to reduce hurt and confusion.
Breakup Became Community Reputation Crisis
- After that breakup Jesse's ex campaigned to label him a narcissistic abuser and rallied community members against him.
- Although many people defended him, the incident caused lasting reputation damage and made him self-exclude from events.