In this podcast, the hosts discuss the topic of perfectionism, exploring its impact on effectiveness, productivity, and self-worth. They delve into the manifestations of perfectionism, including self-sabotage, fear-based decision-making, and burnout. The speakers provide strategies for overcoming perfectionism, such as recognizing emotional aspects, avoiding comparison, and seeking feedback from others.
Perfectionism comes with significant costs, including burnout and disempowering relationships.
Perfectionism often stems from societal expectations and the desire to constantly improve oneself.
To overcome perfectionism, individuals should challenge their definition of perfection, cultivate self-compassion, and embrace imperfections as part of the learning process.
Deep dives
Recognizing the Strive for Perfection and its Costs
Perfectionism is a common challenge faced by many individuals, leading to a desire to achieve an unattainable standard. The perfectionist mindset often brings about fear, anxiety, and a need for control. However, it is essential to recognize that perfectionism comes with significant costs, such as burnout and disempowering relationships. It is crucial to examine the root causes and understand that perfectionism is a self-imposed ruler that limits personal growth. By exploring one's definition of perfection and the desired outcomes, individuals can gain clarity on what is actually achievable and shift their focus from external validation to personal fulfillment.
The Evergreen Nature of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is an ever-present concept that affects people across various domains, including work, relationships, and personal growth. It stems from the human desire to constantly improve oneself and the struggle to bridge the gap between the current self and the idealized self. Perfectionism often arises from societal expectations, such as striving for perfect grades in school, which can carry over into adulthood. As individuals recognize their untapped potential, they may fall into a perpetual cycle of perfectionism, always pursuing more and never feeling satisfied. However, understanding that perfectionism is unattainable and accepting oneself as good enough can help mitigate its negative impact.
Overcoming Perfectionism Through Cognitive and Emotional Approaches
To overcome perfectionism, it is essential to address both cognitive and emotional aspects. Cognitive strategies involve challenging the definition of perfection and examining the true goals and costs associated with it. By asking questions like 'What do I mean by perfect?' and 'What am I truly striving for?' individuals gain clarity and can set more realistic expectations. Emotional approaches involve fostering self-compassion, cultivating curiosity, and injecting playfulness into tasks. Recognizing the fear and discomfort underlying perfectionism can help individuals take action, embrace imperfections, and shift their focus towards progress and fulfillment. It is also important to differentiate between external validation and internal validation by seeking intrinsic rewards and developing a sense of self-worth independent of external accomplishments.
Recognizing Fear in Perfectionism and Taking Action
Perfectionism often derives from fear and a desire to avoid negative outcomes. However, staying in a state of inaction due to perfectionism is detrimental. It is crucial to investigate the fears and anxieties underlying perfectionistic tendencies and challenge them. Injecting play and curiosity into tasks can lighten the mindset and make them more approachable. Popping the bubble of perfectionism involves shifting the focus from an idealized outcome to taking imperfect action and embracing the learning process. Recognizing that failure and imperfection are part of the growth journey helps individuals overcome the fear of judgment and move forward.
Recognizing and Addressing the Limitations of Perfectionism
Perfectionism can be perceived as a problem-solving mindset, but it often leads to self-imposed limitations and dissatisfaction. However, realizing that perfectionism is not the key to success can be liberating. Instead of striving for an unattainable standard, individuals can focus on progress and personal growth. Embracing imperfections and learning to appreciate one's current self while also aspiring for improvement creates a healthier mindset. By letting go of unrealistic expectations and finding the balance between ambition and self-acceptance, individuals can break free from the constraints of perfectionism and lead more fulfilling lives.
Struggle with perfectionism? Don’t we all. It’s so easy to get caught up seeking perfection and wreak havoc on our health, productivity, and relationships. In this episode, we discuss perfectionism, where it comes from, why we do it, and how to escape it.
Join executive leadership & career coach Rikki Goldenberg, conscious leadership & executive coach Justin Mulvaney, and licensed clinical psychologist turned creator coach Corey Wilks as we discuss all that and more.
0:00 Cold Open 1:15 Show Intro 1:39 Today’s Topic - Perfectionism 3:25 Defining Perfectionism 6:15 Why is perfectionism so hot? 10:00 Where does perfectionism come from? 24:00 How does perfectionism commonly show up for people? 32:00 What do we do when we’re struggling with perfectionism? 52:04 Why Perfectionism is Bullshi*t 54:49 Wrapup
Learn more about the hosts: https://www.rikkigoldenberg.com/ https://justinmulvaney.com/ https://coreywilkspsyd.com/
Intro Music: http://www.aaronwaltersmusic.com/
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