The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast S1 Ep4: "Markers Of De-Escalation"
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Aug 12, 2025 De-escalation is crucial for thriving relationships, with markers indicating when couples are ready to move forward in therapy. The hosts stress the importance of vulnerability and emotional availability, highlighting how these elements enhance connections. They warn against rushing through the therapeutic stages and underscore the need for stability before progressing. Real-life examples illustrate the dynamics at play, emphasizing that both partners must engage in the process for effective outcomes.
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Stage One Is The Deep Foundation
- Stage One contains deep emotional work and builds the foundation for change over time.
- Therapists should not rush past this rich, organizing process into Stage Two.
Require Consistent De-Escalation Before Moving
- Watch for consistent reports that couples can argue but then reconnect and resolve.
- Use three to four weeks of stable pattern change as a green light to consider Stage Two.
Small Town Affair Turned To Vulnerable Repair
- A husband reacted with snark and cruelty after learning of his wife's affair, then cried when vulnerability was invited.
- The couple used therapy skills to step out of the cycle and grieve the betrayal together.