Episode 341: How To Stop Feeling Distracted During Sex
Nov 1, 2024
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In this engaging conversation, Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and author of Anatomy of Desire, tackles the modern distractions impacting our sexual experiences. She explains how technology and multitasking can hinder intimacy, sharing practical strategies to enhance presence during sex. Discover the concept of 'flow state' and its importance for pleasure, alongside techniques for embodying connection through touch. Jamea's insights aim to help couples deepen their relationships and cultivate passion through mindful practices.
Modern distractions, particularly from technology and multitasking, hinder individuals' ability to be fully present and engaged during sex.
Practicing embodiment and intimate touch enhances sexual experiences and fosters deeper connection between partners, promoting overall relationship satisfaction.
Deep dives
The Rise of Multitasking and Its Impact on Sexual Presence
Many individuals today struggle to be fully present during sex due to the rise of multitasking in their daily lives. The constant engagement with technology and social media contributes to split attention, making it difficult to transition into the singular focus required for pleasurable sexual experiences. In a world where people are often trying to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously, it becomes challenging to clear one’s mind when entering intimate moments. The speaker emphasizes the need to practice slowing down and disconnecting from external distractions to help individuals better connect with their bodies during sex.
Understanding and Cultivating Flow State in Sexual Experiences
Flow state, a concept associated with being fully immersed and focused in an activity, is crucial for experiencing satisfying sex. The speaker shares that many couples express a desire to feel the passion of their early relationship, which can signify a longing for this flow state during intimacy. However, the physiological and psychological lead-up required to reach this state is often overlooked in sexual encounters, where instant satisfaction is commonly expected. By encouraging individuals to engage in activities that promote focus and mindfulness outside of the bedroom, they can better prepare to experience this sense of flow when they do engage in sexual activity.
Embodiment and the Power of Sensory Experience
To achieve a more present and fulfilling sexual experience, individuals are encouraged to shift their focus from a cognitive to a sensory approach. This involves becoming aware as the body, where one attunes to sensations and experiences rather than analyzing them intellectually. Practicing embodiment in everyday life—such as eating mindfully or engaging in body-focused activities—can enhance one’s ability to stay present during sex. Ultimately, by letting go of the need for constant cognitive oversight, individuals can deepen their connection to their own bodies and their partners.
The Role of Touch and Rituals in Enhancing Connection
Intimate touch serves as a powerful tool for fostering connection and enhancing embodiment within relationships. The podcast highlights how daily rituals of touch, such as cuddling or holding hands, can release hormones that promote feelings of closeness and connection between partners. When both individuals feel more embodied, they are able to navigate conflicts and experience pleasure more effectively. This emphasis on touch underscores the importance of prioritizing those small but significant moments of physical connection to enrich the overall relational dynamics and sexual experiences.
One of the most common sex problems people report today is that they can’t seem to clear their mind during sex. They find themselves distracted or they’re multi-tasking, and this is getting in the way of their pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss why this problem is on the rise and what we can do about it. Specifically, we’re going to learn how to have embodied sex, which is the kind of sex that allows us to get out of our heads and into the moment.
Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.
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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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