Ask Uncut - "I've Been Completely Excluded From My Friendship Group"

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack all of your deep and burning questions.

We start with one of our own today! Firstly are you the type of person who is specific and actually gives an answer when you’re asked “what would you like for your birthday?” If you have told a partner/parent/close friend what you’d like for your birthday and they get you something else, is it okay to feel disappointed? Maybe one of us is an ungrateful shrew.

Vibes for the week:

Britt -eLIESebeth podcast  

Laura - Tonies 

Keeshia - @danny_sandhouse instagram account 

Then we jump into your questions!

FIND MY HUSBAND SUPER SEXY IN GROUP SETTINGS OR WHEN HE’S AWAY- BUT NOT WHEN JUST US?
I’ve been married to my husband for nearly 2 years and together for 9. I have been struggling with sexual chemistry for awhile now, my desire to show any intimacy in any form is basically non existent. BUT here is the thing, everytime I see him come home from work in his business uniform I literally want to jump him, everytime he walks in late to our family/friend catch ups I genuinely think he’s so bloody attractive and I feel like a teenager again seeing my crush. Everytime he’s away for work I instantly want him back, and all my sexual desires return. Why doesn’t this transpire to times that it’s just me and him? Or when we’re in bed together? It’s like he’s a completely different person to me. Help!

BEEN EXCLUDED FROM FRIEND GROUP
Hey girls, am I being over sensitive or is it completely ok to feel devastated? I found out that the group chat “left the group chat” except I wasn’t invited. One of my best friends has gone away for her 40th to Port Douglas with two of our other girlfriends and I had no idea about it, I hadn’t been invited and I only found out about it when I asked where she was when she didn’t turn up to our kids football game. She told me on the day that she had spoilt herself with a trip to port Douglas however she didn’t mention who with. Only that it was for her 40th. I asked who she went with and she never replied despite having a huge conversation via text. I found out from another mum that she’s gone with my two other friends. This has absolutely devastated me as I thought our friendship was on that same level and would never have thought that I was an exclusion or that it wasn’t even mentioned. I feel like it’s been hidden from me, I feel like completely shutting down. What should I do? I just don’t trust them anymore. Am I being too sensitive or is this a valid feeling?

 

SCABBY BIRTHDAY PRESENT
Help! I’m feeling so confused and a little devastated about a gift from one of my best friends for my 30th. She “bought” me an unknown brand childlike makeup set — I’m talking pink sparkles and a foundation at least five shades too dark. The thing is, she’s super into the finer things in life and would never use these products herself. I’m not a makeup girlie at all, so it felt especially strange that this was the present she chose for me. If I’m honest, I think it’s a regift. After some casual digging, I realised it’s from a niche brand her mum follows on Instagram that frequently do free giveaways. They have 100 followers. I know gifts aren’t everything, but for me it’s not about the present. It’s about the complete lack of thought or effort. It feels like a reflection of where our friendship is at for her. We’ve been a bit tense over the last couple of months after a small communication breakdown, but I honestly thought we could work through it. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt let down by her lack of effort, and now I’m seriously considering distancing myself. I’m usually all for having the hard conversations if it’s worth salvaging the friendship… but over a bad gift? It feels petty and I don’t want to seem ungrateful - how could you even bring that up?!

Do I bring this up, or do I just take this as a sign it’s time to let go?

IS MY HUSBAND A FULLY GROWN SNACK THIEF?
I need you to help me settle a minor domestic dispute. My husband is obsessed with our kids’ snacks: Le Snaks, pouch yoghurts, choc chip muffins, Tiny Teddies… the full primary school lunchbox starter pack. This is a grown man in his mid-30s heading to work with a Paw Patrol yoghurt pouch… packed in one of our kids’ old dinosaur lunch box, despite owning a perfectly good RipCurl cooler bag. I buy him “adult” snacks, but he inhales them in two days and raids the kids’ stash like a sugar-crazed raccoon. I should add, I make us delicious lunches most days, so it’s not like he’s going without. Recently, he stormed off without saying goodbye because I questioned why he needed (or wanted) to take one of the kids’ juice boxes. Am I being unreasonable, or should my husband stop being the biggest baby in the house and leave the kiddie snacks alone?

 

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