EP 264.5: Food Isn't the Problem (Control Is)—6 Steps to Stop Counting Calories for Good **Must Listen Fav!**

Let me start this one hot and spicy for you: Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem.

That's right. Food is not the problem. Especially when you've had an unhealthy obsession with calorie counting and diet culture. It's actually about control. And we give calories all the glory when in reality, choosing food based on calories doesn't even equate to the essential nutrients and vitamins that we need to thrive.

Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need, sis, to function, to live, to be your best. Energy that you need to play with your kids, go out with your friends, dress up cute for a date night, do your job, clean your house, take that walk.

But restrictive diets and disordered relationships with food cause this obsession with control and counting calories. And while we continue to be chained to numbers and the fixation of numbers, we're missing out on LIFE.

Maybe you don't count calories, but you count other things—steps, fat grams, your weight on the scale. It's time to hang it up. It's time to stop. But I'm not just gonna ask you to stop cold turkey because we all know how that typically goes.

In this episode, I'm giving you six practical steps you can take TODAY to stop counting calories so you can start counting moments that matter in your life.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why food isn't the problem (control is) and what you're really searching for
• The shocking truth about calorie tracking apps (73% of MyFitnessPal users reported it contributed to disordered eating!)
• 6 actionable steps to stop counting calories for good
• How to transform your thinking around calories (they're energy, not the enemy)
• What triggers to eliminate from your life RIGHT NOW
• How to face the fear and challenge yourself in restaurants and at home
• What to count INSTEAD of calories (hint: Episode 56 has 30 ideas!)
• Why honoring your hunger is the key to freedom
• The powerful statement that will shift everything: "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them will"

If you're obsessively counting calories, tracking your food, or constantly calculating like a mathematician how many calories you have left for the day—this episode is for you.

Let's stop counting calories and start counting moments that matter.

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem. Food is not the problem. It's actually control."

💛 "Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need to function, to live, to be your best."

💛 "Your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing that it needs to survive and thrive at its best."

💛 "Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: 'I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy.' How does that feel?"

💛 "In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker, and 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders. Yet we're still using these things expecting different results."

💛 "Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world."

💛 "You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time. I remember feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food."

💛 "Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will."

💛 "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time."

💛 "You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be who you are created to be. And counting calories is not gonna be the answer for you."

THE REAL ISSUE: IT'S NOT FOOD, IT'S CONTROL

Food isn't the problem. Control is.

Counting calories is about control, rigid routines, and the desire to provide assurance when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with, something to have structure around.

It gives you peace, but it's FALSE. It's a false sense of control.

The counting started small, right? You wanted to track what you were eating, maybe to lose some weight. And it became an obsession. Now you know probably how many calories are in everything. You're tracking on paper, on an app, on your phone.

This fear to control your weight, maintain your weight, or avoid gaining weight is what's leading you. But this is led by distorted standards of diet culture and worldly labels or traumas you've faced in your life.

And sis, it has to stop.

THE 6 STEPS TO STOP COUNTING CALORIES FOR GOOD

STEP #1: ACKNOWLEDGE WHY YOU'RE COUNTING IN THE FIRST PLACE

Counting calories has taken over your life. It didn't start out like that, but it became an obsession.

I want you to acknowledge:

• Why it's there in the first place
• What you're searching for when you're counting
• What knowing that number is actually giving you
• Is what it's giving you a good outcome? Or is it just leading to more shame?

Typically, this is all about control. Control when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with.

You're measuring yourself against a false standard, against a unit of energy. How crazy is that?

STEP #2: TRANSFORM YOUR THINKING AROUND CALORIES

Calories are actually units of energy. But don't you want MORE energy? I mean, aren't you tired of being tired?

Energy isn't good or bad. It's just energy.

When you think of energy, do you view it as bad the way you view calories? Do you want less of it? No, right? You've tied negative meaning to calories and only given yourself permission to restrict them.

But see, your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing it needs to survive and thrive at its best. Just like we need water every day to hydrate, we need food and calories to keep up with our day, to be energized.

I want you to start reframing the way you're thinking about calories.

Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: "I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy."

How does that feel?

I don't know about you, but I can use all the energy I can get. Energy to take my kids to school, energy to show up on the podcast, energy to do all the things that life has for me. I don't need less of it. I need MORE of it.

Sis, so do you.

Stop thinking about calories as if they're bad. They're not bad. They're a form of energy that's gonna allow you to do life.

STEP #3: GET RID OF THE TRACKERS

Get rid of: ❌ The notebooks
❌ The watches
❌ The apps
❌ All the social accounts
❌ The food scales
❌ The scale scales
❌ Take off the labels

Why put yourself in temptation's path?

Practical tips:

• Have someone in your house or someone close to you go grocery shopping for you
• Challenge yourself if you're at the store to shorten your shopping time and select only items you cannot check labels of
• Make it a game: Nothing goes in your basket that you've looked at the label for
• Select only items that you don't know the calorie content of

The research is CLEAR:

In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker. 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders.

Yet we're still using these things expecting different results. Sit with that one today, sis.

STEP #4: FACE THE FEAR

It's time to challenge yourself:

✅ Go to a restaurant and avoid looking at the menu ahead of time
✅ Order something you can't get the calorie count for
✅ Have someone else going with you order something for you
✅ When you're home during the week, have someone else prepare your meals if possible

Face the fear. Challenge yourself. Lean into it.

STEP #5: COUNT SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD

Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world. And your body is already a self-regulating machine. Your metabolism is gonna naturally heal itself.

So count something else instead.

Check out Episode 56: Calorie Counting Isn't Cute—30 Things to Count Instead of Calories, Macros, and Fat Grams. You're really going to enjoy that one.

STEP #6: HONOR YOUR JOURNEY AND WHERE YOU ARE IN IT

Honor your hunger. Your TRUE hunger.

Stopping the desire to count every single morsel of food doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. But it can and it WILL happen if you keep showing up for you.

Try this practice: STOP, PAUSE, PRAY (or say a mantra). STOP, PAUSE, FEEL.

Sit with yourself:

• Why do I wanna count this thing?
• What am I making this mean by counting it?
• Grant yourself grace and permission to NOT count

Is the world gonna end tomorrow because you decided not to count your calories today?

You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time.

I remember in my eating disorder feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food. That is what I used to gauge whether or not I was allowed to give myself permission to eat it.

Stop. Stop the madness. You have permission.

THE POWERFUL TRUTH YOU NEED TO HEAR

Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will.

And I heard this amazing statement (I don't know who it came from, but it was bomb):

"100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time."

I feel it to my core today.

If you're listening and you're counting calories, it's time to stop. It's time to stop giving calories a place of power in your life. It's time to stop idolizing the fear of gaining weight. It's time to stop limiting your every single day by judging the back of a label.

You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be who you are created to be.

Counting calories is not gonna be the answer for you. Just like counting your weight on the scale is never gonna work. Because food isn't the problem and neither is that number on the scale.

The problem is that you have been chained to believe that big is bad and skinny is in. The truth is that calories are just a unit of energy and we need to stop glorifying them.

YOUR ACTION STEPS TODAY

1. Acknowledge why you're counting and what you're searching for
2. Transform your thinking around calories (they're energy, not the enemy)
3. Get rid of the trackers - apps, notebooks, watches, scales
4. Face the fear - challenge yourself at restaurants and at home
5. Count something else instead (listen to Episode 56 for 30 ideas!)
6. Honor your journey while you honor your hunger

 

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Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.