I just launched a new YouTube show where I share the most fascinating lessons I’ve learned from podcasts—ideas that can help you grow in business and life. It’s called I Learned It on a Podcast.

The first episode dives into a topic I know Swarfcast listeners will appreciate: how to communicate, negotiate, and really listen—even when you disagree with someone.

The episode works great in audio, but to get the full experience, I highly recommend checking it out on YouTube.

 

Main Points

Our machining community isn’t always known for warm and fuzzy communication skills. We’re direct, we’re practical, and we get things done. But whether you’re negotiating with a difficult customer, managing a team, or trying to resolve a supplier issue, the ability to truly listen and connect with people can make or break your success.

These are some insights from three incredible experts who’ve mastered the art of human connection:

Make People Feel Heard First

Simon Sinek’s conversation with negotiation expert William Ury, author of one of the famous negotiation books, Getting to Yes, revealed something powerful: all negotiations are fundamentally the same, whether you’re dealing with family drama at Thanksgiving or hammering out a contract with a new client. The secret? Making people feel heard before you try to be heard. When you don’t agree with someone, instead of just stating your side, ask people about their views. If you’re a Republican, ask a Democrat to tell you why they believe what they do. Show genuine interest, and there is a good chance they will reciprocate.

Start by Telling Them How They Feel

Chris Voss, the ex-FBI hostage negotiator, was interviewed on another podcast I like, The James Altucher Show. He shared fascinating neuroscience about what happens when people feel listened to. Turns out, it literally produces bonding chemicals in the brain. When someone feels heard, they see you as less demanding and more trustworthy. Instead of telling people your side, first tell the other person how they feel before the conversation starts. Let them correct you if they want. I did it recently, and it worked beautifully. I said to an independent contractor, “I’m driving you crazy,” “You don’t think this is a good deal for you.” He felt heard and we came to a resolution.

Imagine how this could transform your next difficult conversation with a customer or supplier.

Ask What Kind of Conversation They Want

The third podcast was an interview with communication expert Charles Duhigg, who wrote the best seller, Super Communicators. I love this book. He introduced a game-changing framework: every conversation falls into one of three categories—social, emotional, or practical. Conflicts happen because people are having different types of conversations than their counterparts without realizing it. Someone wants emotional support while the other person is trying to solve a practical problem. This could happen at work and often at home.

When a heated conversation starts, he prescribes asking people what kind of conversation they want to have. Do they want advice, do they want to be heard, or do they just want emotional support? What if, instead of jumping straight into problem-solving mode, you first tried to understand what type of conversation they needed?

These aren’t just feel-good techniques—they’re practical tools that can save you time, reduce stress, and actually get better results in your business and personal relationships.

Your Challenge

I’m throwing down a challenge to the Swarfcast community: try one of these techniques this week. Next time you’re in a tense situation, pause and really listen first. See what happens when you make someone feel heard before you try to make your point. Ask people what kind of conversation they want to have.

I really hope you check out the YouTube show. I’m going to talk more about communication methods, as well how to accomplish goals, or just fun topics like the minds of dogs—the next episode coming out June 13.

Question: When was the last time you changed your mind? What happened?