Learn how to create authentic attraction on a first date. Discover the importance of polarity, authenticity, vulnerability, and curiosity in dating. Find out how to create space for others to be their best selves in relationships.
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Quick takeaways
Be your authentic self on a first date to create genuine connection.
Show curiosity and appreciation for the other person to make them feel valued.
Deep dives
Leading with your most beautiful energy on a date
When going on a date, it is important to bring forth your most authentic and attractive energy. This entails showing up as your core self, the version of you that feels most comfortable and natural when around those you trust. By leading with this beautiful energy, whether it be affectionate, playful, curious, or any other positive traits, you create an inviting atmosphere that allows the other person to get to know the real you. It's crucial to avoid showing up guarded and in control, as it can hinder genuine connection. Instead, reserve that strong independent energy for moments when it is necessary, and focus on building a connection on the date.
Showing vulnerability by revealing your core self
Vulnerability on a date does not mean sharing all your worst stories or revealing deeply personal information right away. Instead, it involves providing a glimpse of who you are at your core, expressing your passions and interests, and allowing yourself to be seen for who you truly are. Often, people tend to cover up their genuine selves by emphasizing their achievements or constructing a certain impressive identity. However, it is through vulnerability that deeper connections are formed. By embracing curiosity and showing genuine interest in the other person, rather than asserting oneself, a more profound level of understanding and connection can be achieved.
Bringing out the best in the other person
Creating a positive and enjoyable experience on a date involves focusing on bringing out the best in the other person. This can be achieved by asking questions that allow them to reveal their interests, insights, and unique qualities. By showing genuine curiosity, appreciation, and laughter, you make the other person feel valued and appreciated. The goal is to be a source of wit and intelligence, not to flatter or manipulate, but to sincerely appreciate what makes them interesting and distinct. When you make someone feel like their best self around you, they will be drawn to you and want to continue exploring a connection.
It’s normal to want to put our best selves forward on a first date . . . but sometimes this makes us hide who we really are. And that’s a shame, because someone may not see the real version of us—the one they’d want to see again and again. So how do you create authentic attraction early on? What are the things you could do that would make someone excited for a second date with you? In today’s new episode, I share 3 natural ways to get and keep someone’s interest on a first date and beyond.
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