"A lot of people have pretty outrageous lifestyles (out of balance), and then they try and fix it with what I call self-soothing. Self-soothing is, ‘How can I numb, put on hold for a while, or procrastinate? How can I take a break before I go back to the same world that caused me pain?’ Self-care is, ‘How do I have daily habits and dedications that keep my energy supply high, that keep me restored and renewed, not just soothed or numbed?’” - Cy Wakeman

• What’s behind the title of Cy’s new book, Life’s Messy, Live Happy?
• How do we make our own suffering worse?
• What are the three questions we should ask ourselves to keep our egos in check?
• How should we approach the practice of gratitude?
• What is over-giving, and why should we be cautious of it?

Choose How To Feel

Life is full of challenges. But while we might not have a say in the experiences we encounter, what few of us realize is that we actually have a choice in how we feel about those situations. Unfortunately, choosing how we respond to certain events isn’t always as easy as flipping a switch. It can take some practice. Thankfully, Cy Wakeman knows a thing or two about reprogramming our reactions.

Cy Wakeman is a drama researcher and leadership consultant whose expertise (cultivated over a 25-year career) has helped to transform numerous teams in Fortune 100 companies for the better. Voted the #1 leadership professional in 2021, Cy has distilled her knowledge into her newest book, *Life's Messy, Live Happy,* to help us all live lives with less suffering.

In this episode, Cy talks us through some of the ways we can change our perspective on those inevitable setbacks to help us live happier and more productive lives. We also discuss how changing our vocabulary can have a drastic impact on our outlook, and we’ll learn how most of our suffering comes from within.

Turn “Why We Can’t” into “How We Can”

When a wrench gets thrown in our plans, many of us naturally assume that whatever we were trying to achieve can no longer be done. We see this a lot in our workplaces: someone calls in sick, and suddenly the deadline you were all working to hit can’t be achieved. But by simply reframing our language during these situations, we can actually overcome these obstacles more often than not.

Cy tells us all about the power that changing our vocabulary can have and explains how considering other perspectives in times of adversity can show us alternate paths to success. We also dive into what some of the keywords are that can help us find opportunity and hope when it seems like the world is working against us.

Key takeaways:

• Stop naming things too soon. We’re often too quick to label situations as good or bad without taking the time to consider whether they present opportunities for personal growth.
• Don’t tell yourself fictional narratives. Our brains naturally jump to worst-case scenarios, so take a moment to ask yourself what is real and what is imaginary when worries kick in.
• Learn to self-care. When stresses occur, look for ways to improve your situation rather than looking for escapes as a temporary fix for a problem.

Links and Resources

• The Game Changing Attorney Podcast
• Crisp Website
• Crisp Facebook
• Crisp Twitter
• Crisp Instagram
• Crisp LinkedIn
• Cy Wakeman Website
• Cy Wakeman LinkedIn
• Cy Wakeman Twitter
• Cy Wakeman’s Book: Life’s Messy: Live Happy