Shrink For The Shy Guy The Truth About Change In The New Year
Comfort Beats Truth In Change
- Most people prioritize comfort over the truth of whether they'll actually do hard change.
- Comfort keeps us stuck even when we sincerely want transformation.
Core Challenges Need Breakthroughs
- Core challenges are longstanding patterns requiring more than casual tending.
- They need new experiences, breakthroughs, and sustained change to truly shift.
Tendonitis Example Of 'Tending'
- Aziz shares a recurring forearm pain example to contrast 'tending' vs. deep transformation.
- He uses it to show some problems only need care, not radical overhaul.
đ In this empowering kickoff to 2026, Dr. Aziz challenges a deeply held belief: that being nice means you care more. In fact, the opposite might be true. In this episode, youâll discover how what looks like âcaringâ is often fear, over-responsibility, and codependence in disguise.
If youâve been stuck in people-pleasing, constantly saying yes when you want to say no, feeling guilt when others are upset, or believing your worth is tied to keeping everyone happyâthis episode is your wake-up call. Dr. Aziz breaks down the emotional trap of chronic niceness and reveals how true caring comes not from fear, but from authenticity and healthy boundaries.
đ§ Ready to stop living for othersâ approval and start living as you? Tune in now and learn how to liberate yourself from the Nice Cageâonce and for all.
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A couple of weeks into a new year, a quiet question tends to surfaceâsometimes with excitement, sometimes with dread:
Is this year actually going to be different?
Not in the hype-driven, âcrush your goalsâ sense. Not in the motivational-poster version of change. But in the places that matter most. In how you feel inside. In how free you feel socially. In whether you finally stop holding back, second-guessing yourself, or feeling like youâre never quite enoughâno matter how much you achieve on the outside.
Thatâs the territory weâre stepping into here.
Not weight loss. Not business optimization. Not productivity hacks. Those matter, sureâbut theyâre not my wheelhouse. What I help people change is something deeper: social confidence, emotional freedom, the ability to be fully yourself without fear, apology, or chronic self-monitoring.
And the truth is, most people donât fail to change because they lack desire.
They fail because theyâre choosing comfort over truth.
Why Comfort Is the Silent Enemy of Real Change
When people say they want to changeâbe more confident, build deeper relationships, speak up, date, lead, or finally feel like they belongâthe question isnât what they want.
The real question is: Are they actually going to do the things required to get it?
Most people arenât lying to others about their intentions. Theyâre lying to themselves.
They say theyâre âworking on it.â
They read books.
They listen to podcasts.
They talk things through with therapists, coaches, or even AI.
And all of that can be valuable.
But hereâs the hard truth Iâve seen over and over again:
You can work on something for years without ever transforming it.
Because working on it can still be comfortable.
Talking about change is comfortable.
Understanding your patterns is comfortable.
Analyzing your past is comfortable.
Transformation is not.
The Difference Between a Challenge and a Core Challenge
Some difficulties in life are seasons. Others are core challenges.
A core challenge isnât something everyone goes through in the same way. Itâs a recurring pattern that stays with you for yearsâsometimes decadesâunless something fundamentally shifts.
For some people, thatâs addiction.
For others, chronic pain.
For many professionals I work with, itâs social confidence, belonging, and self-worth.
If youâve been trying to feel more confident or connected for yearsâand despite effort, insight, and intention, you still feel stuckâthatâs a sign youâre dealing with something core.
And core challenges donât resolve through âtending.â
They resolve through new experiences.
Why Insight Alone Isnât Enough
Understanding why youâre anxious doesnât cure anxiety.
Knowing where people-pleasing came from doesnât automatically free you from it.
Because the real issue underneath social anxiety and excessive niceness isnât tacticsâitâs relationship.
Your relationship with yourself.
Your relationship with other people.
Your belief about whether youâre lovable, acceptable, and safe to be seen.
That belief doesnât change through thinking.
It changes through risk.
You have to risk being more real.
You have to risk saying no.
You have to risk being visible, honest, imperfect, and human.
And when you doâwith the right structure and supportâsomething extraordinary happens:
You discover that you survive.
You discover that people donât leave.
You discover that you can handle discomfort.
And slowly, your nervous system learns a new truth.
Looking at the map doesnât get you across the bridge. You have to walk it.
Why Most People Stay Stuck (Even When Theyâre Trying)
What I see again and again is this pattern:
People avoid discomfort.
Then they decide to âwork on themselves.â
But they choose a comfortable way to do it.
And when comfort is the priority, deep change never happens.
So they try again next year.
And the year after that.
And five years later, theyâre still saying, âIâm working on it.â
Eventually doubt creeps in.
Maybe this canât change.
Maybe this is just who I am.
Maybe I waited too long.
And that doubt becomes yet another reason to retreat back into familiarity.
The Truth Most People Donât Want to Hear
Here it isâclearly, honestly, and without sugarcoating:
Most people will never resolve their core challenges.
Not because theyâre broken.
Not because itâs impossible.
But because it requires a level of commitment, discomfort, and courage they never fully claim.
And if you feel something stirring as you read thisâresistance, resonance, or even fearâthatâs not a problem.
Thatâs a signal.
Itâs the same signal Iâve heard in my own life.
The call to liberation.
What Makes 2026 Different (If You Let It)
Radical transformation is possible.
Not perfection.
Not a life without anxiety or doubt.
But a life where confidence becomes your defaultânot something you chase.
Where you stop negotiating with yourself every time you want to speak, connect, or assert your needs.
Where belonging isnât something you earn from othersâbut something you carry inside.
I know this is possible because Iâve seen itâhundreds of timesâover nearly two decades of doing this work.
And the people who get there arenât the most talented or disciplined.
Theyâre the ones who finally choose truth over comfort.
A Question to Sit With
As you move forward this year, donât ask:
âWhat do I want?â
Ask instead:
âWhat am I truly willing to commit toâeven when itâs uncomfortable?â
Because that answer will tell you everything you need to know about whether this year becomes another chapter of effort⌠or the beginning of real freedom.
Until we speak again,
have the courage to be who you areâ
and know, on a deep level, that you belong.

