Episode 179: Let’s Talk About Gay Hookup Apps

Mar 28, 2023

Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based sex writer and relationship columnist for Men’s Health, dives deep into the world of gay hookup apps like Grindr. He discusses how these platforms differ from those catering to heterosexual users and explores their profound impact on queer culture. Topics include the balance between casual encounters and meaningful connections, the decline of gay bars, and strategies for healthier app usage that support mental well-being. Zane also tackles toxic behaviors and offers insights on navigating rejection in the digital dating landscape.

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ANECDOTE

Lunch Break Hookups

Zachary Zane has had over 500 hookups from apps, sometimes with minimal messaging.
He describes encounters as short as 30 minutes, even fitting them into lunch breaks.

INSIGHT

Safety and Risk in Hookup Apps

Straight dating apps like Grindr couldn't exist for heterosexuals due to safety concerns.
Men seem more willing to take risks with anonymous hookups than women.

INSIGHT

History of Anonymous Hookups

Historically, anonymous hookups were necessary for gay men due to discrimination.
This history still influences the culture of gay hookup apps today.

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Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are increasingly finding sexual partners through apps such as Grindr. These apps haven’t just changed the way people find partners, though, they’ve also changed queer men and gay culture in major ways, some of which have been positive, while others have been negative. So let’s talk about the good, bad, and ugly of gay hookup apps.

I am joined once again by Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based sex writer. He is the sex and relationship columnist for Men’s Health, where he writes Sexplain It. He is the co-author of the book Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever. Zach’s latest book is titled Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto.

Some of the topics we discuss include:

How are apps like Grindr different from apps that cater more to a heterosexual audience, like Tinder?
What are some of the ways in which these apps have had positive effects on queer men and the gay community?
Did Grindr really kill the gay bar?
Do hookup apps make it easier to get the kind of sex you want?
How can we reduce toxic behavior on hookup apps?
How can individuals use these apps in healthy ways that don’t take a toll on their mental health?

Content advisory: This episode contains very frank discussion of sexual matters.

Check out more about Zach on his website, and be sure to follow him on Twitter and Instagram @ZacharyZane_.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.