Episode 324: How To Get What You Want In Bed

6 snips

Sep 3, 2024

Learn how to get what you truly want in bed with practical tips on communicating sexual desires. Discover ways to introduce kinks or fetishes into your relationship and navigate conversations around differing fantasies. Explore the journey of understanding your own sexual preferences and the importance of ongoing dialogues with your partner. By fostering curiosity and vulnerability, you can create a more intimate connection and encourage openness in your sexual relationship.

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ADVICE

Discover Preferences By Self-Exploration

Explore your body through self-pleasure and pay close attention to sensations to learn what you like.
Use erotica or pornography as experiments and share examples with your partner to spark discussion.

INSIGHT

Practice Reveals True Preferences

Sexual skills and comfort often improve with practice across multiple tries.
Many preferences need repetition to determine if they truly suit you.

ADVICE

Normalize Sex Talk With Regular Check-Ins

Normalize regular sex talk by sharing what you liked and what could improve after encounters.
Make scheduled check-ins or post-sex debriefs part of your routine to lower anxiety around sex conversations.

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A lot of us aren’t getting what we really want in bed. For example, there might be certain positions, activities, or techniques that you prefer or enjoy, but you aren’t quite sure how to ask for them. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to get more of what you want. Some of the topics we’ll explore include practical tips for sharing your sexual desires, tips for introducing a kink or fetish into a relationship, as well as tips for normalizing conversations about sex in general.

I am joined once again by Dr. Elisabeth Gordon. She is a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in sexual health. She maintains a New York City based private practice and is also an educator, speaker, researcher, and writer dedicated to advancing sexual health. She has taught at multiple academic institutions around the world, and is a frequent commentator on sexual health topics in the popular media.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

How do you go about uncovering your sexual likes and dislikes in the first place?
When is the right time to talk to your partner about trying something new in the bedroom?
What are some tips for communicating about kinks with a new partner?
What should you do when you and your partner have different sexual fantasies and desires?
How can you encourage a partner to share their sexual wants with you?

You can check out Elisabeth’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.