Sex and the Psyche S3E2: When Sex Feels Like A Quota
9 snips
Sep 25, 2025 A guest explores navigating differing sexual desires with her husband, seeking fulfillment instead of feeling like it’s a chore. The hosts explain asynchronous arousal and offer tips for inviting connection without obligation. They discuss playful refusals and the importance of giving advance notice, allowing the lower-desire partner to prepare for intimacy. Mindset is crucial, as they contrast viewing sex as an obligation versus a generous gift. Practical tactics like flirting and communication are highlighted to enhance mutual satisfaction.
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Ask For A Short Lead Time
- Give a 10–30 minute heads-up when inviting sex so the lower-desire partner can finish tasks and prepare mentally.
- Use that lead time to let the lower-desire partner enter the encounter with openness to arousal emerging.
Listener's 'Blowjob Week' Example
- Liz jokes that the week she's on her cycle is “blowjob week” and counts those as sexual activity.
- She notes intercourse is her preferred sexual activity while acknowledging other acts factor into their rhythm.
Tell Your Sexual Narrative
- When asked “what do you want,” higher-desire partners should offer a clear narrative of what they imagined.
- Hearing that story jumpstarts desire and gives the lower-desire partner concrete steps to catch up.