A personal conversation about being a mom (and woman) with ADHD
May 7, 2024
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Rae Jacobson, a mom with ADHD, joins Laura in a heartfelt conversation about the challenges of being a mom with ADHD. They discuss navigating executive functions and emotional labor, feeling burned out, and the relief of talking with someone who understands. The episode explores the difficulties of balancing motherhood and ADHD, bedtime routines, societal pressures, and the emotional toll it takes on mothers with ADHD.
Balancing personal identity with motherhood post-ADHD diagnosis impacts sense of self and organization skills.
Moms with ADHD face increased energy demands, affecting daily tasks and introspective activities, impacting daily functioning.
Deep dives
The Experience of Being a Mom with ADHD
Being a mom with ADHD involves navigating various challenges, as discussed in the podcast episode. One key point highlighted is the struggle of balancing personal identity with motherhood after an ADHD diagnosis. For instance, Ray shares her experience of postpartum depression and the difficulty of redefining herself post-diagnosis. The impact on organizational skills and self-perception is significant, affecting the individual's sense of self before and after motherhood.
Impact on Interiority and Daily Tasks
Having ADHD as a mom alters the ability to engage in introspective or "drifty" activities due to increased energy demands for daily tasks. Ray and Laura discuss the pressure moms face in managing everyday responsibilities like morning routines, emphasizing the exhaustion and challenges in maintaining a balance. The continuous effort required for basic tasks, such as showering or preparing meals, is amplified for individuals with ADHD, impacting their daily functioning.
Emotional Labor and ADHD
The discussion touches on the emotional labor associated with ADHD and motherhood, delving into the unique challenges faced by women in managing household tasks, scheduling, and absorbing others' emotions. The narrative reflects on the intersection of ADHD and emotional regulation, acknowledging the additional strain it places on individuals in familial roles. The conversation underscores the complex dynamics of emotional labor and the impact on personal boundaries and well-being.
Advocacy and Generational Perspectives
The episode sheds light on the advocacy role of moms with ADHD, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in advocating for children with similar challenges. Heather's story highlights the journey of diagnosis and advocacy within her family, showcasing the power of personal experiences in supporting children's needs. The discussion extends to the generational impact, recognizing the resilience and unrecognized efforts of previous ADHD mothers in paving the way for understanding and support.
What makes being a mom with ADHD so hard? Navigating executive functions and emotional labor, for one. And feeling burned out when burnout isn’t an option — because there’s always something else that needs your very limited attention!
Talking about it with someone who just “gets it” is such a relief. In this episode, Laura talks to her friend and colleague Rae Jacobson, also a mom with ADHD. Listen to their conversation and insights on this bonus Mother’s Day episode.
Understood.org is a resource dedicated to shaping the world so the 70 million people in the U.S. with learning and thinking differences can thrive. Learn more about ADHD Aha! and all our podcasts at u.org/podcasts.
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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