Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Mean Kids

Feb 18, 2025

A mother struggles with her 4-year-old son's sudden unkind behavior, leaving her heartbroken and confused. The impact of a new sibling and possible bullying at school are explored as key influences. Practical strategies are discussed to navigate these challenges, emphasizing the importance of emotional safety and nurturing relationships. The conversation highlights the critical role of adult supervision in peer interactions and the need for authentic emotional connections to support children's development.

26:58

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Quick takeaways

Children often act out to process emotions related to difficult situations like conflicts with peers or family changes.

Imitation of negative behaviors from peers can signify emotional processing, highlighting the need for empathy and open communication from parents.

Deep dives

Children's Offloading of Emotions

Children often express emotions and experiences through their behavior, acting out when faced with challenging situations. This tendency to offload feelings is particularly evident when they encounter unsettling dynamics, such as conflicts with peers. In this case, a young boy exhibits aggressive behavior, likely as a way to process his experiences with a classmate who is also struggling due to family issues. Recognizing this offloading as a natural process can help parents respond more effectively and create a supportive environment for their child.

Intro

2min

Navigating Emotional Turmoil in Early Childhood

15min

Navigating Peer Influence and Emotional Authenticity in Parenting

4min

Bridging Emotional Gaps in Parenting

9min

A parent writes to Janet that she's alarmed and heartbroken about the wedge that's developed between her and her 4-year-old son, "a very sweet, genuine, kind little person," due to his increasingly unkind, hurtful behavior. This mom feels she's tried everything and yet her son continues to hit, kick, pinch, scratch, and run away from her and her partner. The boy also makes threats like, "I'm going to punch you," sometimes following through. This mom suspects that two situations may be causing her son's behavior: "His sister is 18 months and speaking in short sentences, which I'm sure is a momentous change for him;" and "he is embroiled in ongoing conflict with two boys in his mixed age Montessori class. I say conflict, but it might be bullying." She's at a total loss and hoping Janet can offer her clarity and perspective.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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