Dr. Shefali Tsabary, an expert in conscious parenting, discusses the importance of healing from past trauma and the concept of conscious parenting. The podcast explores the role of fear in parenting, the mask of masculinity, and embracing impermanence. Dr. Shefali also talks about her new book and upcoming event, sharing insights on self-acceptance and awakening to one's truest self.
Parents can alleviate fear by accepting the impermanence of life and freeing themselves from the illusion of control.
Parents need to deconstruct their deeply ingrained beliefs to create a more conscious and authentic parenting approach.
Parents should see their child as a sovereign being and shift their focus from ownership and control to honoring their uniqueness.
Deep dives
The Role of Fear in Parenting
The main challenge parents face is the fear of whether their child will be okay. This fear stems from their own pervasive sense of not being okay. Parents often live with anxiety, feeling responsible for their child's well-being and future. This fear is rooted in a delusion that they can control all aspects of their child's life. The key to alleviating this fear is understanding and accepting the impermanence of life, including the inevitability of death. By freeing themselves from the illusion of control and accepting the transient nature of existence, parents can live more fully in the present moment and release their anxiety.
The Importance of Deconstructing Beliefs
Parents often struggle with questioning and deconstructing their own deeply ingrained beliefs. They pass these beliefs onto their children without realizing the potential harm it may cause. By deconstructing their beliefs, parents can create a more conscious and authentic parenting approach. This includes examining societal and cultural norms, challenging traditional roles, and questioning the concepts of God, marriage, sexuality, and beauty. By doing so, parents can provide a more open and accepting environment for their children, allowing them to discover and embrace their own true selves.
Shifting the Perspective on Parent-Child Relationship
Parents need to shift their perspective on the parent-child relationship. They should see their child as a sovereign being, rather than an extension of themselves. By releasing the need for ownership and control, parents can honor their child's individuality and create a healthier dynamic. This requires being present with the child and truly seeing and acknowledging their unique qualities. It also involves embracing the spiritual test of ego detachment, as parents navigate the delicate balance between doing for their child and being present with their child. By focusing on connection and honoring the child's sovereignty, parents can foster a more authentic and conscious parent-child relationship.
The Importance of Partnering with a Force
Partnership with a force can create humility and recognition that parents are not all-powerful rulers over their children. Communing with this force throughout the different stages of a child's life can bring a deeper understanding and connection.
Removing the Ego as a Parent
Removing parental ego is vital in establishing a loving and authentic relationship with children. Recognizing and accepting the ego, which was created out of fear, is the first step towards breaking free from its suffocating hold. By entering a state of gratitude, wellness, and releasing the need to control or project onto their children, parents can truly connect with them.
"We need to keep our kids who they are; the rest will follow." - Dr. Shefali
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