082: Two Ex Pastors Reveal the Secrets Behind Toxic Church Systems

8 snips

May 6, 2025

In this insightful talk, former worship pastor Josh Barbour, known for his advocacy against the exploitation of kids online, reveals his experiences navigating the complexities of church systems. He and Jeff Cochran discuss spiritual abuse, the emotional toll of leadership pressures, and the problematic use of NDAs. They explore the toxic performance culture within churches and the stark financial disparities that undermine community care. Their candid dialogue emphasizes the urgent need for accountability, transparency, and meaningful reform in faith communities.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

ANECDOTE

Josh's Burnout and Parental Leave

Josh Barbour shared his experience of burnout working over 100 hours a week as a worship pastor during Christmas season.
He was denied part-time work and forced to take federally protected parental leave, which his church resented.

ADVICE

Hide Strengths to Avoid Exploitation

If you enter ministry, hide your strengths outside your job description.
Churches tend to exploit additional talents you show beyond your official role.

ANECDOTE

Firing Recorded and Legal Win

Josh recorded a meeting where he was fired while on parental leave.
He legally won a human rights lawsuit for being fired illegally while on protected leave.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

What really happens behind the scenes in modern churches?In this episode of Church Disrupted, Jeff Cochran is joined by Josh Barbour from The Dad Challenge Podcast for an unfiltered conversation about what it’s like to work inside church systems that prioritize control, image, and brand over people.As two former pastors, Jeff and Josh pull back the curtain on spiritual abuse, staff silencing, leadership idolatry, and the emotional toll of ministry. From NDAs to toxic performance culture, they reveal the secrets churches don’t want talked about — and how we can respond with integrity and truth.

Find out more about the Spiritual Abuse Institute and the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.spiritualabuse.institute/.https://www.spiritualabuse.institute/...Join the church disrupted COMMUNITY here: / discord Learn more about the Safe Church Pledge Here: https://www.spiritualabuse.institute/...Check out our Awareness Apparel HERE: https://church-disrupted.sellfy.storePlease Subscribe and Share!

Chapters:

00:00 - Intro

01:46 - Today's Guest: Josh Barbour

03:22 - From Worship Pastor to Advocating for Change

05:58 - Challenging the Church We Love

08:58 - Going to church for the Wrong Reasons

15:11 - Why Josh left the church world

28:17 - NDAs in Church

39:06 - Spiritual Abuse is a Cancer in the Church

45:00 - Follow the Money Trail

53:30 - Red Flags to Look For

59:22 - Ego & Leadership

1:05:09 - Money Questions

1:17:35 - Final WordsFair Use Disclaimer:This video may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. All clips used are protected by the Fair Use Doctrine within Title 17 of the United States Code. This doctrine safeguards the use of copyrighted material for transformative purposes, such as commentary, criticism, review and news reporting. Under Title 17 U.S.C. § 512(f), any person who makes a false, bad faith, or misleading copyright claim or uses a copyright takedown to infringe on free speech, criticism, or commentary can be held liable for damages to the content creator.Hosseinzadeh v. Klein, 276 F.Supp.3d 34 (S.D.N.Y. 2017); Equals Three, LLC v. Jukin Media, Inc., 139 F. Supp. 3d 1094 (C.D. Cal. 2015).