The Gottman Method for Couples: ADHD and Relationships with Dr. Michelle Frank

As we kick off our twenty-third season of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, we're looking at families. These are some of the closest relationships we have in our lives — we live with them, eat with them, play with them, sleep with them — but how does ADHD contribute to our family relationships?

This week, Dr. Michelle Frank returns to introduce us to The Gottman Method. According to the website of the originators of the method, John and Julie Gottman, here's what we know about The Gottman Method:

The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.

When we spoke to Dr. Frank about couples and ADHD, she was ready to jump right in — she's a respected specialist in using Gottman Method Couples' Therapy and sees it as one path that happens to be uniquely suited to improving communication between partners who have some mix of ADHD between them.

Building our Sound House

Dr. Frank introduces us to The Sound House theory and we meet the Four Horsemen (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling). In this context, we look at what allows ADHD to throw our relationships out of balance and how to find realignment along the way.

About Dr. Michelle Frank

Dr. Frank is a clinical psychologist specializing in providing diagnostic and treatment services to individuals with ADHD. Her work with clients is all about finding strengths-based approaches to learning how to live with ADHD. She works with college students, adults, and families and the book she co-authored with Sari Solden — A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD: Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly, and Break Through Barriers — was released last summer. Learn more about Dr. Frank.

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (02:22) - Support the Show! • Patreon.com/theahdhpodcast
• (08:49) - What is the Gottman Method?
• (17:28) - The Sound Relationship House Theory
• (24:00) - The Four Horsemen
• (33:06) - ADHD is Out of Balance
• (42:50) - Balancing Planning in the Mixed ADHD Relationship
• (52:51) - Finding a Therapist the Works with ADHD