AMA: The Courage To Grow, How To Build Mental Resilience In Hard Times + The Deprivation of Global Masculinity

Mar 8, 2024

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Wellness + Wisdom Episode 619

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast Host and Wellness Force Media CEO, Josh Trent, shares about the dark and the light of feminism and how it has affected the masculine, how to build mental resilience in this world that's oversaturated with information, and how to find the courage to grow.

Today's Questions

Anna: Do you think masculinity is in deprivation because of feminism in our society?

Jackie: What is your advice on building mental grit during these crazy times?

Joanna: Calling Out New Age BS: "Forcing vs. cultivating the courage to accept life's purpose."

Send Josh your AMA Question HERE!

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Listen To Episode 619 As Josh Trent Answers Your Questions [02:00] The Dark + The Light of Feminism

Let's start with the big one. Let's start with the masculinity that's in deprivation. This is from Anna. Let's listen to the question right now.

"Do you think masculinity is in deprivation in our society of feminism?"

Well, the short answer is yes. And I'll tell you why, but before I begin, Mar, you know, you and I were chatting about this before we jumped on, and there's a dark and a light to feminism.

Now, you as a woman, right, The majority of our audience is women and also men who are interested in accessing the feminine inside of themselves.

That's why we have the upside-down triangle in our company logo so that I can master that myself. From a feminine perspective, what do you think the light and the dark of feminism are in your, in your mental view?

So I'm still in the process of figuring out what's the good part and what's the kind of negative feminism. I've never been involved in the feminist movement at all because my opinion is every moment that has gone is not serving its purpose anymore. And that has happened with every big movement, basically.

So I do see it in a way that it has brought us some freedom in a sense we're not dependent only on men anymore, which in a sense is good, but in the same sense, we have become the masculine in the world as well, because we get to work every day and we get to earn our own money and take care of children and do everything on our own.

And I don't think that's a good thing. We just do way too much. Right. It's beautiful. Look, so it's a great question, Anna, and I'll start by, We'll go into 3 different chunks here.

I think any movement when it begins, it does come from a good place, right? And so women's suffrage has been happening for a long time. You know, Eckhart Tolle talked about the pain body of women. And just like a lake, if you were to throw a rock, which could essentially represent the dark side of the patriarchy, which is a real thing.

Patriarchy and feminism both have a dark and a light. That rock of the dark side of patriarchy was thrown into the lake. And in some ways, in many ways, the ripple is still being felt by the feminine, by women in the world.

So I'm not here to negate the suffrage of women or the pain that women feel. I am here to just bring a different perspective.

So with that vantage point, when it started, feminism I believe was about getting women to a place where they feel empowered, where they feel free.

Unfortunately, like most movements here in the matrix, that movement was captured early 1900s by the IRS and by top wealthy families in America.

And it was a way to get women out of the house and into the workforce for this reason, to double the taxes that were actually collected. And also it sacrifices the family...

[14:50] How to Build a Mental Grit

What is our next question? We have one from Jackie. She's asking about your advice on building mental grit during these crazy times.

"What is a way you can build resilience and grit in these crazy trying times with social media, 24-hour news cycle, etc? How can you build the skills needed to survive your mind during these crazy times? I appreciate your advice and your answer. Thank you."

Isn't Jackie asking the quintessential question of our times? In this day and age where we're also quote, hyper-connected on social media, and we have the most perceived that we ever had, I think really what we're talking about here is a pseudo connection where our energy and really our focus is being harvested.

I don't know about you, Mar, but I'm very aware of how much I'm on my phone. Do you have a great relationship with your phone or what is that like for you?

I wouldn't call it a great relationship. I'm trying to get away from it as much as I can. And every time I'm in a real social situation interaction, I try to never use my phone.

It's just, to me, it feels so rude when I'm face-to-face with somebody and they're just on their phone. I can't stand it and that's why I'm not doing that. But yeah, I'm definitely trying to bring the screen time down as much as I can. That's my goal.

Yeah, it's well said. Y'all can go on your iPhone, I believe on your Android too. And you can look at your hours. It actually shows you on your phone how many times you pick it up and how much time you're spending on your phone.

So if you think you don't have time, I challenge everyone who's here with us to pick up your phone and how much time you're spending on your phone.

I remember we had a guest on the show. It was Dr. Kyra Bobinet and she was a neuroscientist. She told me something very, very powerful. She said, look, no matter if you have children or not, even as adults, we're all being trained.

We're all being trained on a neurological level to seek comfort and to seek what's called reward circuitry in our limbic system from the phone itself.

Another great resource for this is the episode we did with Nir Eyal, where he talked about the variable reward of cell phones. I think, Jackie, what your question really points to is the phone, because the phone and computers and social media, these are the devices and these are the things that are actually down our capacity to have mental grit.

Look at our ancestors, right? They saw, and I'm talking like even our grandparents, Mar, they saw maybe 150 to 200 things that were high decision-making things that they needed to make decisions in life.

We see 10,000 things or more. So it's like 20 to 100 X times of input that's coming at us all day long. We are human. We are half beast and half spirit. And so I think it's no surprise that all of us are struggling in some way with mental grit.

Now, when you say crazy times, a lot of these crazy times are propagated by what we see on social. We've all heard the term doom scrolling, right? It's actually why Mar and myself and our entire team, we design content that can actually go out there and hook people where they are.

And that is essentially maybe in the bathroom, going to the bathroom, doom scrolling, or on the trolley or whatever, like just going through your phone, trying to get some kind of a mental reward from just the normalcy of where you are.

And I think what we've lost is the ability to just be present in a moment...

[24:30] Find The Courage to Grow

Let's get to the next question. It's from Joanna. So Joanna is calling out the new age bullshit and she wants to know the difference between forcing versus cultivating courage to accept life's purpose.

It's so good. Oh my gosh, how many people can relate to this? Let's hear Joanna.

"Hey Josh, my name is Joanna. And my question for you is, I've heard you in the past talk about how in the new age, people say things like, if it doesn't feel good, then don't do it. And I've heard you call BS on that.

And I would love if you could elaborate more about that, specifically, like with differentiating between, like, if you're forcing something, and it's, you know, like, to just switch lanes versus like, something is meant for you. But it might just be hard, you know, like how do you differentiate clarity around the path?

Because obviously it's going to be hard either way. So it might not feel good either way. I hope that makes sense."

It makes perfect sense. So the analogy would be when to grit and when to quit and how to have the emotional mental faculty in order to know when you should be forcing something, which I believe now is never that I'll get into, versus cultivating the courage to accept your life purpose.

And this is multi-layered. So let's spend some time on this one because this is a very contextual question.

So in the new age, we have these phrases, Mar, like good vibes only. I've even seen T-shirts and sweatshirts. Have you seen these? Good vibes only, or like social memes? Love and light. What does that bring up for you when you see that?

Well, I've been through a lot, I know it's not true. It's just one part of it. It's like we live in a dual world and so always the shadow part and we cannot ignore it.

If we only focus on the light and the love and the good vibes only, we're missing out on a lot. No doubt. Yeah, and you know what we're missing out on is we're missing out on the human experience of just having a process in general.

I'll never, ever, ever forget this. I was at Paleo FX back in the day when Paleo was happening here in Austin, and I was doing a live podcast with Christine Hassler. And she said, never allow yourself to rob someone else of their process.

And why that's so important is because when we focus on hyper positivity, or when we focus on good vibes only, or just love and light, we're missing out on a fucking myriad of the human experience that is grief, pain, anger, resentment, betrayal, jealousy.

Human emotions are not necessarily good or bad, right? They're just emotions. And so energy in motion is really just a clue as to where the energy is asking to be or where the energy is asking to be channeled.

So when I'm feeling angry or upset, that's actually a good thing. It's a good thing because my boundary has been broken in some way, or I'm not being respected in some way, either by myself or my partner or a friend or a colleague. These are beautiful, beautiful guideposts for us.

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