Her Best Self | Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast, Disordered Eating, Anorexia, Bulimia, Orthorexia, Body Image, Food Freedom, Calorie Counting, Obsessive Exercise, Food Restriction EP 229: Why Your Husband’s Workout & BFF's Lunch Choice Has Nothing to Do With Your Recovery (+ 3 Strategies to Break Free From Comparison)
Struggling with watching your husband grab a banana and head out for his 5-mile run while you're sitting with your full breakfast? Feeling guilty about eating meals when your friend skips lunch because she's "too busy"? This episode tackles the comparison trap that's keeping you stuck in eating disorder recovery. Lindsey gets raw and real about why other people's food and exercise choices have absolutely nothing to do with your healing journey.
Key Takeaways- Other people's food and exercise choices have nothing to do with your recovery
- You're not comparing apples to apples - you're comparing apples to pineapples
- Comparison is literally increasing your risk of ED relapse
- Your recovery is not up for a vote
- Stop giving mental energy to other people's plates and start celebrating your own healing
- The science behind your comparison brain (Social Comparison Theory)
- How your ED voice hijacks normal brain processes
- Why comparison feels logical but leads you away from healing
- The difference between recovering and "normal" relationships with food
- Exercise Comparison: "Why does he get to run when I need rest?"
- Food Comparison: "She only ate half her meal and I finished mine"
- Body Comparison: "They look amazing and barely work out"
- 2020 study: Social comparison = strongest predictor of ED relapse
- How comparison steals your present moment
- Why shame keeps you stuck in the disorder cycle
- The difference between shame vs. grace in recovery
Tool #1: The Reality Check Questions
- "Am I comparing my recovery to someone's normal?"
- "What would I tell my best friend thinking this?"
- "Is this thought moving me toward or away from healing?"
Tool #2: The Information Gathering Technique
- Get curious instead of assuming
- Remember you don't see the full picture
- Challenge your assumptions about "normal"
Tool #3: The Redirect and Refocus
- Name it: "I'm comparing again"
- Redirect: "My recovery is about MY healing"
- Refocus: "What does MY body need right now?"
- "You're not comparing apples to apples - you're comparing apples to trauma recovery."
- "Your recovery is not a democracy. It's not up for a vote."
- "Comparison is the thief of joy, but it's also the thief of recovery progress."
- "The most rebellious thing you can do against your eating disorder is to stop caring what everyone else is doing."
- Proverbs 14:12: "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death."
- Isaiah 43:19: "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"
- 2019 Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology: Limiting social comparison reduced depression/anxiety in one week
- 2020 International Journal of Eating Disorders: Social comparison as strongest predictor of ED relapse
- Dr. Leon Festinger's Social Comparison Theory
- "When I compare myself to others, what am I really afraid of?"
- "What lies is my eating disorder voice telling me when I compare?"
- "If I stopped caring about what others ate or exercised, what would change?"
- "What would I do differently if I truly believed my recovery was worth prioritizing?"
- "How is comparison serving my eating disorder rather than my healing?"
"I am not my husband. I am not my friend. I am not social media. I am a woman in recovery, and my healing journey is sacred. Other people's choices have nothing to do with my recovery needs. I choose progress over comparison, healing over hiding, and my recovery over everyone else's opinion."
The Opposite Action ChallengeThis Week's Homework:
- Compare to your PAST self, not others
- When you catch comparison: Thank your brain → Remind yourself comparison doesn't help → Take one recovery action → Celebrate that action
- Practice the new identity statement daily
- Your meal plan matters more than what's on anyone else's plate
- Rest days are as important as workout days
- Your healing journey takes priority over fitting in
- Doing what YOUR body needs, regardless of others
- Website: www.herbestself.co
- Private Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com
- Client Application: Client Application
Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. After finding freedom from her own eating disorder, she now helps women break free from obsessive food thoughts and comparison traps to live their best lives in recovery.
If this episode called you out (in the best way), please leave a rating and review! Your support helps more women break free from the comparison trap that's keeping them stuck.
* While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.