Calm Parenting Podcast Which Consequences Work for Lying, Disrespect & Defiance? #551
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Jan 7, 2026 Explore effective strategies for addressing child defiance and disrespect! The host shares insights on handling toddler tantrums and fosters connection over punishment. Learn how engaging in side-by-side activities can lead to sincere apologies. Discover the importance of understanding sensory needs and how they relate to behavior. Identify ways to respond calmly to clever disrespect while maintaining boundaries. Ultimately, nurture a relationship-focused approach to discipline that promotes long-term positive behavior changes.
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Cookie Incident That Became Connection
- Kirk Martin recounts his niece Jordan calling him "I don't like you" after he let her cookies be taken to provoke a reaction.
- He chose connection over punishment and later made cookies together, which led to a sincere apology and deeper trust.
Consequences Don’t Fix Root Needs
- Kirk Martin argues consequences alone rarely change long-term behavior because they don't address root needs.
- He emphasizes going two steps beyond punishment to fix underlying emotional or sensory drivers.
Use Side-By-Side Tactile Repair
- Give upset or sensory kids tactile, side-by-side activities to calm them before discussing behavior.
- Use hands-on tasks to meet sensory needs and create a non-threatening space for repair.