Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Esther Calling - Part of Me Wants to Cheat Part Two
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Jan 25, 2024 This conversation delves into the complexities of desire and pain within relationships. It navigates the emotional turmoil behind the temptation to cheat, revealing how unresolved traumas influence current choices. The discussion highlights the need for open communication to confront shame and anger stemming from betrayal, emphasizing healing through acknowledgment. Listeners are invited to explore their insecurities in love, illustrating how these feelings shape relational dynamics and the journey toward forgiveness.
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Trauma Reenactment
- The caller's intrusive thoughts about cheating are a trauma reenactment, not a literal desire.
- The focus is on "getting away with it," mirroring the assault's hiddenness.
Communicate Your Needs
- Communicate your needs to your partner, even if it's difficult.
- Explain how their lack of curiosity intensifies your feelings of shame and hiddenness.
Hidden Trauma
- When traumatic experiences are hidden, shame and isolation intensify.
- Sharing the experience diminishes the power of the "get away with it" aspect of trauma.