Mojo Mondays: Two Great Tools to Strengthen Any Relationship
Oct 15, 2023
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The hosts explore challenges of maintaining a strong marriage and share tools for strengthening relationships. They discuss the concept of a weekly marriage meeting and the importance of active listening and effective communication. They explore the concept of a bridge meeting in a relationship, planning activities, and addressing challenges. They discuss the importance of starting small and being solution-focused in strengthening relationships. The chapter emphasizes the value of understanding others' perspectives and introduces the tool Nican.
Weekly marriage meetings provide dedicated time for active listening, expressing appreciation, and organizing schedules.
SBI conversations (Situation, Behavior, Impact) help couples address problems by promoting focused, objective, and respectful communication.
Deep dives
The Importance of Marriage Meetings
One key aspect that keeps the speaker and Carly's marriage strong amidst their busy lives is the practice of weekly marriage meetings. These meetings provide a dedicated time for active listening and expressing appreciation for each other. The speaker emphasizes the importance of using eye statements and giving specific reasons for gratitude. In addition to showing gratitude, the weekly meetings also serve the purpose of discussing logistics and organizing schedules to ensure smoother day-to-day life. Furthermore, the meetings include planning for fun activities together as a couple and with their children. Overall, the marriage meetings act as a tool to strengthen emotional connection and address any problems or challenges in a solution-oriented manner.
SBI Conversations and Perspective-Taking
The speaker highlights the significance of engaging in SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact) conversations when addressing problems within a marriage. This structured approach helps keep the conversation focused, objective, and respectful. They discuss the importance of active listening and entering these conversations with good intentions and a willingness to understand each other's perspectives. The speaker emphasizes the value of perspective-taking, acknowledging that everyone sees the world through their own lens, and understanding the impact of one's behavior on their partner. By adopting a solution-focused mindset and fully considering each other's experiences, couples can find greater understanding and resolutions in their relationship.
Nikan: Reflecting on Gratitude and Impact
The speaker introduces the practice of Nikan, a daily or weekly journaling exercise that involves reflecting on three questions: what they have received, what they have given, and what troubles or difficulties they have caused their partner. This practice encourages self-awareness and shifts the focus from self-centeredness to understanding the impact of one's actions on their partner. By regularly reflecting on their behavior and considering their partner's experience, couples can cultivate gratitude and become more mindful of their actions and contributions to the relationship. The speaker suggests that incorporating Nikan can enhance marriages and deepen connection, even in relationships that are already strong.
