Why thinking about death helps you live a better life | Alua Arthur
Aug 22, 2023
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Alua Arthur, a death doula, discusses the significance of thinking about death in shaping our lives and finding meaning. She shares personal stories and encourages listeners to embrace life, let go of petty frustrations, and appreciate the magic of everyday life. The speaker reflects on their experience of embracing death and reaching a state of complete acceptance and safety, emphasizing the importance of cherishing the wonder of being alive.
Embracing death as a context for living more meaningfully every day
Finding true meaning in simple pleasures and being fully present in the sensory experiences of life
Deep dives
Redefining Death as a Context for Meaningful Living
In her Ted Talk, Eluah Arthur, a lawyer and death doula, challenges the grim finality of death and encourages us to embrace death as a context for living more meaningfully every day. She envisions a good death as dying in one's own bed, surrounded by loved ones, with affairs in order, and with a sense of fulfillment. By acknowledging death and the finite nature of life, we can find clarity in our priorities and curate our lives in alignment with our values.
Discovering the Magic of the Mundane
Arthur shares a story of a client who, upon facing a terminal illness, realized the pointlessness of a life focused solely on productivity and achievement. Through introspection, the client discovered that true meaning lies in simple pleasures and being fully present in the sensory experiences of life. Arthur advises everyone to eat the cake, indulge in life's joys, and embrace our human fallibility, finding wonder in the magic of our existence on a spinning blue rock in space.
Embracing Mortality as a Catalyst for Compassion
Arthur describes how her own experiences with depression and caring for her terminally ill brother-in-law led her to become a death doula. She emphasizes the importance of being present with the dying, providing compassionate support, and creating space for open conversations about mortality. By accepting our mortality and acknowledging the legacy we leave behind, we can live authentically, making conscious choices and embracing our shared humanity.
As a death doula, or someone who supports dying people and their loved ones, Alua Arthur spends a lot of time thinking about the end of life. In a profound talk that examines our brief, perfectly human time on this planet, she asks us to look at our lives through the lens of our deaths in seeking to answer the question: "What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may live presently and die gracefully?"