47. Leadership, Anxiety, and Family Systems, with Steve Cuss, author of Managing Leadership Anxiety
Aug 12, 2019
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Steve Cuss, author of Managing Leadership Anxiety, discusses the impact of anxiety on relationships and organizations. He explores family systems theory and ways to manage chronic anxiety. Tips include viewing anxiety as a 'pet' and identifying unnecessary needs. The podcast highlights the importance of self-awareness and managing anxiety in leadership roles.
Chronic anxiety in leadership stems from perceived threats within relationships, emphasizing the need for managing anxiety at a systemic level.
Recognizing the powerful role of anxiety in a group setting, where the most anxious person often exerts the most influence, underscores the importance of a non-anxious leader.
Deep dives
The Role of Anxiety in Leadership
In this podcast episode, the speaker shares their personal experience of being in leadership positions and the challenges that come with it, particularly related to managing anxiety. They discuss how anxiety can impact relationships and systems within a church or organization. The conversation also explores family systems theory and its relevance in understanding and managing anxiety within various contexts. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing and managing anxiety, both at a personal and organizational level, for healthy spiritual leadership.
Understanding Chronic Anxiety
The podcast delves into the concept of chronic anxiety and differentiates it from acute anxiety. Chronic anxiety refers to long-term, perceived threats that generate anxiety between individuals within a system. The discussion highlights how chronic anxiety can be contagious within a group and explores the idea that the most anxious person in a system often holds the most power. It also touches on the role of a non-anxious leader in managing anxiety and fostering a healthy environment.
Applying Family Systems Theory
The podcast explores how family systems theory can be applied in leadership and organizational contexts. It discusses the importance of recognizing the dynamics of relationships and how they contribute to anxiety within a group. The conversation emphasizes the need for leaders to practice differentiation, which involves managing their own anxiety and being aware of how it impacts others. The importance of open communication in addressing and resolving anxiety-inducing patterns is also highlighted.
The Intersection of Anxiety and Spiritual Formation
The podcast delves into the relationship between anxiety and spiritual formation. It emphasizes that chronic anxiety often competes with one's awareness of God's presence. The discussion acknowledges that anxiety can hinder one's ability to trust in God and recognize His work. However, it also presents the opportunity for individuals to experience the grace and freedom of God by shifting their dependence from the false self to Jesus Christ. The conversation encourages individuals to invite the transformative power of God's grace into their anxious moments.
In this episode Steve Cuss, the author of ManagingLeadership Anxietydiscusses the way anxiety can affect, not only ourselves, but all those around us. We also talk about something called family systems theory, which has to do with recognizing and managing the anxiety in a system of relationships—be it a family, a church, a business, a baseball team, or school.
Acute anxiety is when you’re in actual danger. The danger is short-term, and then the danger passes.
Family systems focuses on chronic anxiety, which has to do with what happens next after you don’t get what you think you need.
Chronic anxiety is long-term. It is not an actual threat; it is a perceived threat.
Laura Turner had shared on Steve’s podcast, Managing Leadership Anxiety, the idea of anxiety as a pet. It’s helpful to think of anxiety, not as a monster, but as a pet on a leash.
Steve Cuss says it’s helpful to be mindful where your anxiety begins. Does it start in a spinning mind, a racing heart, or a tightening gut?
It can also be helpful to ask a friend, “What are two or three things that I think I need, but that I don’t actually need?”
Murray Bowen, founder of family systems theory, noticed that our problems aren’t just inside us, but between us.
The most powerful person in the room is the most anxious person in the room—unless the room is being led by a non-anxious leader.
Edwin Friedman wrote Generation to Generation, which focuses on congregational leadership. He also wrote A Failure of Nerve, which looks at family systems in culture and society.
“Differentiation” is considered by Roberta Gilbert to be the cornerstone concept of family systems theory. It refers to your ability to notice when you’re being infected by someone else’s anxiety and how to stop your anxiety from infecting someone else.