47. Leadership, Anxiety, and Family Systems, with Steve Cuss, author of Managing Leadership Anxiety

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In this episode Steve Cuss, the author of Managing Leadership Anxiety discusses the way anxiety can affect, not only ourselves, but all those around us. We also talk about something called family systems theory, which has to do with recognizing and managing the anxiety in a system of relationships—be it a family, a church, a business, a baseball team, or school.

THIS EPISODE’S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Steve Cuss is the lead pastor at Discovery Christian Church in Denver, Colorado, and the author of Managing Leadership Anxiety.
• Acute anxiety is when you’re in actual danger. The danger is short-term, and then the danger passes.
• Family systems focuses on chronic anxiety, which has to do with what happens next after you don’t get what you think you need.
• Chronic anxiety is long-term. It is not an actual threat; it is a perceived threat.
• Laura Turner had shared on Steve’s podcast, Managing Leadership Anxiety, the idea of anxiety as a pet. It’s helpful to think of anxiety, not as a monster, but as a pet on a leash.
• Steve Cuss says it’s helpful to be mindful where your anxiety begins. Does it start in a spinning mind, a racing heart, or a tightening gut?
• It can also be helpful to ask a friend, “What are two or three things that I think I need, but that I don’t actually need?”
• Murray Bowen, founder of family systems theory, noticed that our problems aren’t just inside us, but between us.
• The most powerful person in the room is the most anxious person in the room—unless the room is being led by a non-anxious leader.
• Edwin Friedman wrote Generation to Generation, which focuses on congregational leadership. He also wrote A Failure of Nerve, which looks at family systems in culture and society.
• “Differentiation” is considered by Roberta Gilbert to be the cornerstone concept of family systems theory. It refers to your ability to notice when you’re being infected by someone else’s anxiety and how to stop your anxiety from infecting someone else.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS

• Books mentioned: 
  • Managing Leadership Anxiety by Steve Cuss
  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero
  • The Leader’s Journey by Jim Herrington and Trisha Taylor
  • Family Systems and Congregational Life by Robert Creech
  • Leadership on the Lineby Ronald Heifetz
  • Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman
  • A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman
• Steve Cuss: 
  • Website: https://stevecusswords.com/
  • Twitter:  @stevecusswords
  • Instagram: 

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