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00:00:48 Judi Brownell from Cornell University
00:01:07 Here are the components of Brownell’s model: H: Hearing
00:03:01 U: Understanding
00:05:01 R: Remembering
00:06:48 I: Interpreting
00:08:33 E: Evaluating
00:10:57 R: Responding
00:15:29 Don’t Be a Conversational Narcissist!
00:17:52 Reframe the Way You Understand the Purpose of Conversation
00:18:52 Don’t Jump Ahead
00:20:04 Avoid Advice
00:21:12 Stop Centering Yourself
00:23:06 Watch Out for Passive Conversational Narcissism, too
00:23:56 What If They’re the Conversational Narcissist?
00:26:37 The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order.
00:26:53 Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn.
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• Good listening is a collection of different skills: hearing, understanding, interpreting, and responding. The HURIER method asks us to Hear, Understand, Remember, Interpret, Evaluate, and Respond, in that order. Remember that listening is active and includes both verbal and nonverbal material.
• Avoid being a conversational narcissist, who is someone who uses conversation to gain attention for themselves, rather than connect with others, share, or learn. Reframe the way you understand the purpose of conversation and understand that it’s not about you or your ego. Avoid giving advice, interrupting (or thinking about what you want to say), or centering yourself in the dialogue. Similarly, don’t be afraid to disengage when you encounter a conversational narcissist.
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