Episode 359: Are You Having “Good Enough” Sex?

Jan 3, 2025

Dr. Barry McCarthy, an emeritus professor of psychology and certified couples therapist, shares his insights on sexual health. He introduces the Good Enough Sex Model, emphasizing the importance of realistic expectations over mere medical solutions. Playfulness is highlighted as a crucial element for enhancing intimacy and resolving sexual disagreements. McCarthy also discusses the evolving landscape of sexual concerns and encourages a focus on pleasure and connection for healthier relationships.

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ADVICE

Holistic Approach to Sexual Problems

Integrate medical interventions like pills into a holistic sexual approach.
Consider psychological, biomedical, and relational factors for sexual health.

INSIGHT

The Good Enough Sex Model

Good enough sex acknowledges that sex has multiple roles, meanings, and outcomes.
It accepts that not all sexual encounters will be mutually satisfying or even good.

ADVICE

Accepting Variability in Sex

Accept that sexual experiences will vary and won't always be perfect.
Don't expect every sexual encounter to be mind-blowing.

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Sexual problems are common. So how do we fix them? In today’s episode, we’re going to dive into the Good Enough Sex Model. It’s a radically different way of thinking about sex that can help us both in preventing problems from emerging in the first place, as well as fixing problems when they appear.

My guest is Dr. Barry McCarthy. He is an emeritus professor of psychology at American University and a certified couple’s therapist. He has published more than 150 academic papers and chapters, and has authored or co-authored 24 books. In 2016 he received the Masters and Johnson award for lifetime contributions to the sexuality field.

Some of the topics we address in this episode include:

Why do we need more than just medication when it comes to fixing sexual problems?
What is the Good Enough Sex Model? How is it different from other forms of sex therapy?
How can we set realistic expectations for resolving sexual problems?
Why is playfulness such an important element of good sex?
How can parters resolve disagreements about sex in a healthy way?

You can check out Barry’s Psychology Today profile to read more of his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.