Ep 185: The 3A's: A Framework for Parenting Complex Kids
Oct 23, 2024
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Discover the transformative three A's: Awareness, Acknowledgment, and Action, for navigating parenting challenges. The hosts stress the importance of a calm mindset before taking any actions. Emphasizing collaboration, they reveal how involving children in decision-making fosters better communication. Learn how to balance scaffolding and accommodating to meet children's diverse needs while steering clear of reactivity. Engaging with children's interests is crucial for effective parenting, creating a supportive environment for growth.
30:29
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Quick takeaways
The Three A's framework—Avoid, Accommodate, and Act—empowers parents to strategically navigate the complexities of raising children with unique needs.
Cultivating calm and involving children in decision-making are essential for effective parenting and fostering a supportive home environment.
Deep dives
Framework for Navigating Complex Issues
The hosts introduce a structured framework aimed at helping parents navigate the challenges of raising complex children. This model emphasizes understanding the underlying issues affecting behaviors, which often stem from executive function skills, communication breakdowns, or stress and overwhelm. By categorizing these problems, parents can more effectively determine how to address them, whether through avoidance, accommodation, or action. The intention is to empower parents with strategies that simplify the process of managing their children’s needs in various situations.
Understanding the Three A's
The framework is built around the concept known as the 'Three A's': avoid, accommodate, and act. 'Avoid' relates to intentionally not reacting to certain behaviors that may not warrant immediate attention, creating a focus on what's truly important. 'Accommodate' emphasizes the need for creating supportive adjustments in the home environment to help children face their challenges, recognizing that accommodations are often necessary both at home and in school. Finally, 'Act' encourages parents to take constructive actions only when the child is in a regulated state, highlighting the importance of collaboration and buy-in from the child.
Avoid: Choosing to Let Go
'Avoid' implies not reacting to behaviors that could lead to further complications or challenges. Parents are encouraged to avoid actions that may be unproductive, such as jumping too quickly into fix-it mode or making assumptions about their child's intentions. Practicing conscious avoidance allows parents to step back from potentially reactive behaviors, thus minimizing overwhelm for both themselves and their children. This strategy suggests that by selectively prioritizing what to address, families can create a more focused and less chaotic environment.
Accommodate: Meeting Children Where They Are
The 'Accommodate' aspect of the framework highlights the importance of adjusting expectations and support based on a child's developmental stage and needs. Parents are advised to explore accommodations that can help children succeed in tasks that may be difficult due to executive function challenges or stress. This could involve modifying home routines or providing additional support to foster independence gradually. Ultimately, the aim of accommodating is to level the playing field and encourage success through tailored approaches that account for each child's unique circumstances.
Listen to this Parenting With Impact episode with Elaine and Diane as they discuss the three A’s: Awareness, Acknowledgment, and Action. Here is what to expect on this week’s show:Elaine and Diane emphasize the importance of approaching challenges with an open mind and a willingness to experiment."Commit to calm before you take action;" By cultivating a sense of calm and mindfulness, parents can make more deliberate and effective decisions in response to their children's behaviors.Elaine and Diane highlight the value of involving children in the decision-making process and seeking their feedback. Related Links:Welcome to Parenting With Impact: https://youtu.be/FykSBnaWXhkHow Do I Get My Kids to Talk to Me? 4 Communication Tools: https://youtu.be/z_sfOuGaEC0Motivation Myths & the Magic of P.I.N.C.H.: https://youtu.be/2TkKOif9LrU?si=gJEd8lpgqd7KUd_PAccommodations vs. Remediation - What's the Parent's Role?: https://youtu.be/2tfQ4nZDs2E?si=Ysl6UyqmxyZyIIUdSelf-Awareness, Self-Regulation & Self Management: https://youtu.be/V49MEzft064?si=jSOOO4ZmjvEiaVu6The Independence Pyramid: Big Picture and Daily Tasks: https://youtu.be/Z6AiUIxhWnE?si=cXo9oxKWOX1YE-PA Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools https://impactparents.com/gift Connect with Impact Parents:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents/ @impactparents Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParent @impactparent LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents/ @impactparents Twitter: https://twitter.com/ImpactParents @impactparentsLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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