ERP 468: How to Use a Trauma-Informed Approach for Repair in Relationship — An Interview with Esin Pinarli

Mar 18, 2025

54:32

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About this Episode

Every relationship experiences moments of disconnection. These instances, often referred to as ruptures, can feel alarming, especially when they seem to happen all too frequently. But what if conflict wasn't something to dread but rather an opportunity for growth and deeper connection? The problem many face is not the rupture itself but the lack of repair. Learning how to artfully navigate these reparative processes can transform conflicts from mounting resentment to meaningful growth. Are you ready to redefine how you view and handle conflicts in your relationships?

In this episode, we delve into the heart of using a trauma-informed approach to repair relationships. Through a blend of therapeutic insights and practical techniques, the conversation sheds light on the dynamics of conflict and the importance of repair to foster genuine connection and intimacy. By tapping into our own inner resources and acknowledging our shared vulnerabilities, listeners can learn to transform challenges into powerful moments of healing, growth, and reconnection.

Esin Pinarli is a holistic psychotherapist and relationship expert specializing in IMAGO therapy, brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic practices, and psychodrama. Through an integrative experiential approach, she helps individuals and couples suffering from anxiety, depression, addiction, codependency, trauma, and relational attachment issues to navigate life's challenges so they can become fully alive, supported, and whole.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. Episode Highlights

07:16 Understanding rupture and repair in relationships.

10:11 The role of conflict and repair in intimate connections.

13:38 Navigating disconnection using a trauma-informed approach.

17:06 Recognizing trauma response patterns in relationships.

23:28 Importance of reflecting and regulating responses.

25:43 Mirroring and attuning as steps in the repair process.

30:54 Nurturing vulnerability for deeper intimacy.

34:27 Cultivating empathy and understanding within partnerships.

35:24 Collaboration and accountability in healing relationship dynamics.

39:20 Handling simultaneous activation in partner dynamics.

42:47 Techniques for achieving regulation and calm.