Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel She's Out, He's Still In.
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Nov 13, 2023 
In this thought-provoking discussion, a couple reflects on their 20-year marriage fraught with emotional disconnect. The wife conveys deep feelings of hurt and doubts about true passion, while the husband grapples with his desire to hold onto their relationship. They explore how past traumas shape their present, revealing struggles with communication and emotional expression. Together, they confront the challenging dynamics of their relationship, examining the complexities of love, hope, and the possibility of change.
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Initial Observations
- Esther Perel observes the husband is bereft, clinging to the idea that the wife's childhood trauma is the cause of her wanting to leave.
- She notes the wife appears stoic and numb, creating a dynamic where the one who wants to leave appears to have it together.
Wife's Childhood
- The wife shares her difficult childhood, marked by parental drug addiction, alcoholism, and suicide.
- She explains she doesn't view herself as a victim and has moved on from her past.
Emotional Range
- Esther Perel notes that both the wife's parents had a wide emotional range, while the wife chose a life of emotional steadiness.
- She suggests the wife's aversion to her husband's emotional highs and lows stems from her childhood experiences.