Alexandra, a guest knowledgeable about the Netflix documentary 'The Tinder Swindler,' joins Emeka and Alejohndra for an engaging conversation. They discuss the tactics and psychology behind scams, manipulation, and emotional attachment. They explore how individuals like Elizabeth Holmes and Kanye craft their identities to deceive others. The hosts also touch on the lack of genuine connections between people. Tune in for this captivating episode!
Scammers exploit attachment by building emotional connections and manipulating victims into believing in a deep connection.
Threes excel at crafting emotional landscapes, reflecting what others find valuable to form a powerful emotional connection.
Projection plays a significant role in scams, as victims project their desires onto manipulators, blinding themselves to the lack of genuine connection.
Deep dives
The Power of Emotional Connection in Scams
The podcast episode explores the tactics used by scammers to build emotional connections with their victims. The example of a Tinder scammer is highlighted, where the scammer would spend months crafting a strong attachment with his targets, showering them with attention, lavish dates, and constant communication. By tapping into the emotional needs and desires of the victims, the scammer was able to manipulate them into believing in a deep connection. This emotional attachment became the engine for the scam, eventually leading the victims to lend large sums of money. The episode delves into the psychology of attachment and the powerful influence it can have in deceptive situations.
The Role of Threes in Building Emotional Landscapes
The podcast explores the role of threes in crafting emotional landscapes to manipulate others. Threes, as assertive types, excel at reflecting what others find valuable and projecting an emotional connection. By making it all about the other person's needs and desires, threes can create a deep sense of attachment. Using the example of the Tinder swindler, who was identified as a three, the podcast discusses how threes can make individuals feel seen and valued without actually forming a genuine connection. The podcast underscores how threes can use emotional manipulation as a potent tool in gaining trust and exploiting vulnerabilities.
The Illusion of Connection and the Power of Projection
The podcast highlights how individuals can be drawn into scams and manipulative relationships due to the power of projection. The example of the Tinder swindler showcases how victims projected their desires and aspirations onto the scammer, creating an idealized version of the relationship. Despite the lack of genuine connection, the victims felt emotionally invested due to the attention and flattery they received. The episode explores how factors like status, wealth, and attention can blind individuals to the empty nature of the relationship. It also exposes how manipulators exploit this dynamic to extract money and control from their victims.
Manipulative strategies and thorough planning
The podcast episode discusses the manipulative strategies employed by an individual in romantic relationships. The person establishes a pattern of intermittent presence and creates a persona of a busy, wealthy individual who is always coming back. This strategy allows them to keep multiple romantic partners and maintain the illusion of availability. The person meticulously plans and executes their scheme, laying groundwork with one partner while already preparing to move onto the next. They weave together narratives of future marriage and financial security, convincing their partners to lend large sums of money. The combination of emotional attachment, financial manipulation, and carefully crafted identity makes it difficult for the victims to resist their requests.
The power of crafting identity and attachment
Another key point explored in the podcast episode is the power of crafting identity and attachment. The speaker draws parallels between the manipulator discussed earlier and other figures in popular culture, like Elizabeth Holmes and Kanye West. They highlight how these individuals successfully create compelling identities and emotional landscapes that allow others to attach to them. By embodying confidence and vulnerability simultaneously, they inspire belief and support, prompting people to invest emotionally and financially in their success. The episode also references reality TV shows as a platform for observing attachment dynamics and suggests that analyzing attachment types can provide insights into their behaviors and motivations.
This week Emeka and Alejohndra are discussing the Netflix doc, The Tinder Swindler. The rest of crew has been held hostage by our road back to you haters in Prague. Please paypal $500 to bhepodcast@gmail.com or David and Nancy will die. Love you babies forever.
— (7:58) Overview/Summary of the premise and why this story is compelling from the POV of the enneagram
— (13:29) Attachment is the fundamental O.R. structure for everyone and people don’t really connect with each other
— (15:28) 3s are mirroring back to you what you find valuable and crafting an emotional landscape
— (28:44) The competency of 3 at masterminding an identity and scheme
— (33:58) Elizabeth Holmes and Kanye as further examples of what’s so compelling about 3s
— (40:51) How the different assertive types scam people
— (45:00) Attachment gone bad on The Bachelor and Love is Blind. The 9 vs 3 style of blankness
If you haven’t already, go buy John’s book on amazon or barnesandnoble:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578784971/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VZ3VZVEG0M1RY42AWN2T
Sign up for the Dark Arts Academy at enneagrammer.com
Call the Loveline with your comments and thoughts about the show at (323) 696-0647. Or you can also email bhepodcast@gmail.com or DM us with a pre-recorded voice message.
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