This podcast explores the topic of assertiveness in children, addressing concerns of parents and providing guidance on building self-confidence. It covers situations such as bullying on the school bus and dealing with clingy, bossy, and controlling friends. The speaker emphasizes the importance of trusting and taking an interest in a child's perspective, allowing them to manage conflict and find their own solutions. Strategies for supporting self-confidence and navigating challenging friendships are discussed.
27:45
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Quick takeaways
Fueling children's self-confidence by trusting and respecting their own ways of managing conflict is crucial for developing assertiveness and setting boundaries.
Parents can support their children in building self-confidence and assertiveness by providing a safe and open space for them to share their experiences and feelings, respecting their individual ways of managing conflict, and avoiding imposing their own expectations or judgments.
Deep dives
Fueling self-confidence by trusting and respecting children's ways of managing conflict
One of the main ideas in this podcast is the importance of fueling children's self-confidence by trusting and respecting their own ways of managing conflict. The speaker highlights that developing assertiveness and setting boundaries is a slow evolution in a child's development and cannot be rushed. The podcast emphasizes the need for parents to trust their children and take an interest in their point of view instead of judging it. By providing a safe and open space for children to share their experiences and feelings, parents can support them in building self-confidence and assertiveness.
Helping children assert themselves by fueling their self-confidence
Another key point discussed in the podcast is the importance of fueling children's self-confidence to help them be more assertive. The speaker suggests that self-confidence is a vital aspect of assertiveness, and all people with healthy self-confidence have the ability to set boundaries and stick up for themselves. The podcast emphasizes that fueling children's self-confidence can be achieved by trusting in them, taking an interest in their experiences, and providing open-ended feedback. Parents are encouraged to respect their children's ways of managing conflict with peers and avoid imposing their own expectations or judgments.
Navigating tricky social situations and relationships
The podcast also explores strategies for navigating tricky social situations and challenging friendships. The speaker acknowledges the difficulties children face in dealing with peers and highlights the importance of providing support and advice without being overly directive. The podcast emphasizes that children need space and time to learn and develop their own approaches to handling challenging social dynamics. Parents are encouraged to be a sounding board for their children, actively listen to their perspectives, and gently offer open-ended suggestions for handling difficult situations. The goal is to help children feel safe, confident, and equipped to navigate social complexities while respecting their individual experiences and ways of managing relationships.
Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice forhow the parents can help in the most effective manner.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.