Living in community requires trust, open communication, and a shared vision to combat isolation and cultivate intentional living.
Expanding the definition of family to include chosen family and friends creates a more inclusive and fulfilling home life.
Deep dives
Living in Community: A Shared Home
A group of friends decided to challenge the traditional single-family home arrangement by buying a house together and living in community. They recognized the need to combat isolation and cultivate a more intentional way of living. By sharing financial responsibilities, they were able to afford a larger property in a desirable neighborhood. However, this arrangement goes beyond just split costs – it requires trust, open communication, and a shared vision. They established rituals, such as weekly house meetings, to discuss what's working and what's not. Conflict management strategies include expressing gratitude and addressing issues in a timely manner. Despite initial skepticism from others, living in community has proven to be a rewarding and enriching experience. It has provided support, a sense of belonging, and a deepening of relationships.
Redefining Home and Family
The friends in the shared home challenge societal expectations of what makes a home and a family. Rather than conforming to the idea of a nuclear family consisting of just a romantic partner and children, they embrace a more communal way of living. This allows them to experience a different kind of intimacy and mutual support. They recognize that friendship and chosen family can play significant roles in their lives, filling various emotional needs. By expanding their definition of family, they create a more inclusive and fulfilling home life for themselves and their children.
Navigating Parenting in a Shared Environment
Parenting in a shared environment requires clear boundaries, open communication, and respect for each family's autonomy. Each couple takes responsibility for disciplining and raising their own children, while the shared living arrangement provides an additional layer of support and love. The children benefit from having multiple adults involved in their lives, creating a sense of community and extending their support system. Conflict over parenting decisions is approached with understanding and a shared commitment to raising the children in a loving and caring environment.
The Importance of Commitment and Shared Vision
Living in community necessitates a strong commitment and a shared vision among all members. Participants recognize that genuine community requires active practice, communication, and emotional intelligence. By aligning their values, faith, and mission, they create a solid foundation upon which to build their shared home. The commitment they have made to each other goes beyond financial obligations and contributes to a stronger sense of togetherness, personal growth, and the ability to navigate challenges together. This intentional living offers them a depth of connection and a level of support that would be difficult to achieve in traditional living arrangements.
What motivated two families to engage in the organized chaos of shared living and how did they learn to talk through, and shape, new expectations for their family life at home?
In this episode of How to Talk to People, we hear from Deborah Tepley and Luke Jackson, who remember when they first asked their best friends to buy a house with them. The Flemings—soon to be expecting their first child—didn’t hesitate to say yes. Their real estate agent and extended families warned against the decision, but the families shared a vision of a home where the values of community could flourish in practice.
This episode was produced by Rebecca Rashid and is hosted by Julie Beck. Editing by Jocelyn Frank. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado. Engineering by Rob Smerciak. Special thanks to A.C. Valdez. The executive producer of Audio is Claudine Ebeid; the managing editor of Audio is Andrea Valdez.
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Music by Alexandra Woodward (“A Little Tip”), Arthur Benson (“Organized Chaos,” “Charmed Encounter”), Bomull (“Latte”), and Tellsonic (“The Whistle Funk”).
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