TPP 347: Raising a Demand Avoidant Child or Teen (PDA), with Casey Ehrlich

I’m really happy to be bringing another conversation about PDA to the show, especially as awareness and understanding of this complex profile of autism is growing and more and more parents are looking for resources to navigate this especially challenging parenting journey. Oh, and in case you’re not familiar with PDA, it’s an acronym that technically stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, though many people who identify as PDAers prefer the words persistent desire for autonomy.

My guest for today’s conversation is Casey Ehrlich. In our conversation, Casey sheds light on how to approach raising a child with PDA at different stages, explores the differences between PDA and ODD, considers how burnout manifests in someone with PDA, and explains how a child with a PDA profile might experience a loss of autonomy and equality on a daily basis. Casey also walks us through her framework for supporting families with PDA kids and what it takes to find peace and acceptance in showing up for a PDA child no matter what.

About Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D.

Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. is a coach and educator to parents raising PDA Autistic children and teens and is the founder of At Peace Parents and a podcast by the same name. She is also the co-founder of the PDA Parents community and podcast. Casey brings her background in social science, methodology, and research to take an objective and non-judgmental approach to supporting families.She is currently conducting empirical research on Pathological Demand Avoidance with a faculty member at the University of Michigan and is raising two sons, one of whom is PDA Autistic.

Things you'll learn:

• What PDA is, and how it overlaps (if at all) with ODD
• How burnout manifests in someone with a PDA profile and the overlaps between PDA burnout and autistic burnout
• Why people with a PDA profile experience a loss of autonomy and equality when demands are placed on them
• How Casey helps parents raising kids with a PDA profile
• What low-demand parenting actually looks like in practice

Resources mentioned:

• Casey’s website, At Peace Parents
• At Peace Parents on Instagram
• At Peace Parents Podcast
• Free “Clarity” Masterclass
• Paradigm Shift Program
• Dr. Mona Delahooke
• Deconstructing Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Mona Delahooke blog)
• Dr. Dan Siegel
• Tina Payne Bryson
• A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Linda Murphy’s website
• Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy
• Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways
• Dr. Melissa Neff on Pathological Demand Avoidance In Children (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Polyvagal Theory
• Sensory Processing Disorder (Star Institute)
• Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (It’s Complicated!) (Tilt Parenting podcast)
• Amanda Diekman and Low Demand Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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