Breaking Down Tasks and Big Feelings with Vanessa Gorelkin (Rebroadcast)

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Dec 29, 2025

In this engaging conversation, Vanessa Gorelkin, an occupational therapist and ADHD coach with nearly 30 years of experience, reveals the intricacies of managing ADHD. She discusses the 'Want-to-Do' gap, highlighting why enjoyable tasks can still feel daunting. Vanessa sheds light on the cycle of anxiety and executive dysfunction, and why strategies can decay over time. Practical tips like breaking tasks into micro-steps and creating crisis plans offer invaluable tools for navigating emotional regulation and daily challenges.

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INSIGHT

Occupational Therapy Reframes Daily Functioning

Occupational therapy focuses on helping people live their daily lives to the fullest, not on 'work therapy.'
Vanessa Gorelkin treats adults with ADHD by adapting environments and routines to individual needs.

ADVICE

Design Your Morning For Success

Place visible prompts (water, meds, crackers) where you'll see them to make mornings doable.
Start with a tiny action like eating in bed to avoid nausea and build momentum.

INSIGHT

Feelings Often Come Before Thoughts

Feelings often precede thoughts, especially with ADHD and anxiety, reversing CBT's usual order.
Therapies like DBT and IFS address bodily feelings and parts, not only thoughts.

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For this week's episode, we are dipping into the archives to revisit a conversation that resonated with so many of you. I'm talking with Vanessa Gorelkin, a seasoned occupational therapist and ADHD coach who's been working in the field for nearly 30 years.

Vanessa holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Brandeis (Bran-Dice) University and a Master's degree in Occupational Therapy from NYU. She specializes in executive function strategies, emotional regulation, and anxiety management, and she brings a unique perspective to helping adults with ADHD navigate the day-to-day.

In this encore presentation, we discuss:

The "Want-to-Do" Gap: Why we struggle even with the tasks we actually enjoy.
The Anxiety Connection: How anxiety and executive dysfunction team up to create a cycle of frustration.
Strategy Decay: Why tools that work perfectly for a month inevitably seem to stop working.
Practical Regulation: How to break down tasks so they feel doable and why you need a "crisis plan" before the crisis actually hits.

Whether you missed this the first time around or just need a refresher on these strategies, there is so much gold in this episode.

You can still find all the links and resources mentioned in this episode on the original show notes page at: HackingYourADHD.com/215

This Episode's Top Tips

1. If something feels overwhelming, try breaking it down into micro-steps. Even something like getting out of bed can be broken into "sit up," "put feet on the floor," and "stand up." In more practical ways, we could think of this as starting out as just opening the document you need to work on, adding the formatting, and starting your first sentence. The idea is you want to build momentum and go with the flow.

2. Be mindful of language; words like "just" and "should" can be damaging. Instead of "I should just wash the dishes," you can reframe it as "I could wash the dishes," and then also if you need a little bit more asking yourself, "What's making this difficult, and how can I work with it?"

3. It's important to have a crisis plan ready before you need it. When emotional overwhelm hits, it's hard to think through what you need. You can pre-plan strategies like a weighted blanket, a favorite show, or calling a friend so you don't have to figure it out at the moment.