The 14 Rules of the Discernment of Spirits with Fr. Timothy Gallagher with Kris McGregor
Episode Fifteen: Rule Thirteen – Breaking the Spiritual Silence
Episode 15 – The Thirteenth Rule:
Likewise, he acts as a licentious lover in wanting to be secret and not revealed. For, as the licentious man who, speaking for an evil purpose, solicits a daughter of a good father or a wife of a good husband, wants his words and persuasions to be secret, and the contrary displeases him much, when the daughter reveals to her father or the wife to her husband his licentious words and depraved intention, because he easily gathers that he will not be able to succeed with the undertaking begun: in the same way, when the enemy of human nature brings his wiles and persuasions to the just soul, he wants and desires that they be received and kept in secret; but when one reveals them to his good Confessor or to another spiritual person that knows his deceits and evil ends, it is very grievous to him, because he gathers, from his manifest deceits being discovered, that he will not be able to succeed with his wickedness begun..
Episode Fifteen of The Discernment of Spirits: Setting the Captives Free focuses on Rule Thirteen, which reveals one of the enemy’s most effective tactics. The enemy seeks secrecy. Freedom comes through bringing spiritual burdens into the light. Fr. Timothy Gallagher, in conversation with Kris McGregor, explains why this rule is among the most important and grace-filled in the entire set of rules.
Ignatius begins Rule Thirteen with a vivid metaphor. The enemy acts like a false lover who seeks secrecy in order to succeed. As long as his words remain hidden, his influence continues. The moment they are revealed to the proper authority, his power collapses. Ignatius applies this image directly to the spiritual life. When troubling thoughts, temptations, doubts, or discouragements are kept secret, they grow stronger. When they are spoken openly to a wise spiritual person, they lose their grip.
Fr. Gallagher explains that this rule touches very deep places in the heart. Many people carry a spiritual burden for years. Sometimes for decades. It may be a past event. It may be a recurring temptation. It may be a painful doubt that quietly resurfaces whenever God’s love is spoken of. These burdens often remain powerful for one reason. They have never been put into words.
Drawing from years of pastoral experience, Fr. Gallagher describes the grace that unfolds when a person finally speaks. He recalls parish missions where people, feeling safe for the first time, shared spiritual burdens they had carried silently for most of their lives. Again and again, he witnessed the same result. When the burden was spoken, freedom followed. Captives were set free.
Ignatius gives clear guidance about to whom one should speak. The first is one’s good confessor. By “good,” Ignatius does not mean simply kind or holy. He means a confessor who understands the enemy’s deceits and malicious designs. This knowledge allows the confessor to recognize what is happening and guide the soul toward freedom.
The second option Ignatius gives is another competent spiritual person. This person may be in any state of life. The key is wisdom. This is someone who understands the spiritual life and the enemy’s tactics. Speaking to the wrong person can increase confusion. Speaking to the right person brings clarity and peace.
Fr. Gallagher then offers one of the most moving illustrations of Rule Thirteen from the life of St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus. On the evening before her final vows, after years of absolute clarity about her vocation, Thérèse was suddenly overwhelmed by doubt. The darkness was intense. Her vocation appeared to her as an illusion. She believed she had been mistaken all along.
The temptation included a powerful lie. If she spoke about this doubt, everything she hoped for would collapse. Silence seemed safer. Yet Thérèse chose the opposite. With great courage, she asked to speak with her novice mistress and revealed everything. The result was immediate. As soon as she finished speaking, the doubt vanished. Peace flooded her soul. The next morning, she professed her vows in deep consolation.
Fr. Gallagher highlights the decisive moment. The imagined outcome of speaking was catastrophic. The real outcome was freedom. This contrast reveals the heart of Rule Thirteen. The enemy always exaggerates the cost of speaking. The truth is always gentler than the fear.
The episode then addresses common excuses that keep people silent. “The priest is too busy.” “I don’t have time.” “They won’t understand.” “Nothing can change this anyway.” Fr. Gallagher explains that when months or years pass under these justifications, Rule Thirteen should come to mind. Someone does not want this burden brought into the light.
Fr. Gallagher offers practical ways to live this rule. Regular confession can provide brief but meaningful guidance. Retreats offer safe spaces for spiritual conversation. Spiritual friendships, prayer groups, and even the companionship of spouses can support openness. He shares a striking story of a missionary priest who recorded his spiritual struggles on cassette tapes and mailed them across the ocean to his spiritual guide. The message is clear. Accompaniment is always possible.
The episode concludes with a powerful reminder. We are not meant to live the spiritual life alone. The moment a burden is spoken to the right person, its power diminishes. Freedom begins. As Ignatius teaches, secrecy is the enemy’s shelter. Truth spoken in love brings light. Captives are set free.
Discerning Hearts Questions for Reflection and Study
Personal Reflection
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Are there spiritual burdens you have carried without speaking about them?
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What fears arise when you consider bringing these struggles into the light?
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Have you ever experienced relief simply by speaking honestly to a wise person?
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Who might be a good confessor or competent spiritual person for you?
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How does Rule Thirteen invite you to greater freedom and trust?
Group Reflection or Study
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Why does Ignatius insist that secrecy strengthens spiritual burdens?
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How does the story of St. Thérèse illuminate Rule Thirteen?
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What distinguishes a wise spiritual person from a well-meaning listener?
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What excuses most commonly keep people silent about spiritual struggles?
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How can parish communities create safe spaces for spiritual accompaniment?

The 14 Rules for Discerning Spirits –
“The Different Movements Which Are Caused In The Soul” as outlined by St. Ignatius of Loyola click here
For the other episodes in this series visit Fr. Timothy Gallagher’s “Discerning Hearts”click here
Father Timothy M. Gallagher, O.M.V., was ordained in 1979 as a member of the Oblates of the Virgin Mary, a religious community dedicated to retreats and spiritual formation according to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. Fr. Gallagher is featured on the EWTN series “Living the Discerning Life: The Spiritual Teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola
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