Topics discussed: rebuilding trust, heart attitude and mindset, insecurity and fear, costs and mindset shift in trust-building, shifting from victim mindset to active agent mindset, rebuilding trust through vulnerability.
Rebuilding trust should come at the expense of the betrayer, emphasizing the importance of actively loving the fear out of the betrayed partner.
A mindset shift from playing not to lose to playing to win is crucial in rebuilding trust, accompanied by open communication and getting out in front of fear.
Deep dives
Rebuilding Trust - Heart Attitude and Mindset
The episode discusses the importance of rebuilding trust in a relationship and emphasizes the need for a positive heart attitude and mindset. It highlights that trust is destroyed at the expense of the betrayed partner and should be rebuilt at the expense of the betrayer. The episode emphasizes the importance of love as the antidote to fear and the foundation for rebuilding trust. It encourages husbands to actively love the fear out of their wives and shift their mindset from playing not to lose to playing to win. The episode also addresses the challenges and setbacks that may occur during the trust-building process and advises husbands to examine their heart attitude and engage in open, honest communication with their wives.
Understanding Fear and Insecurity
The episode explores the link between fear, insecurity, and the lack of trust in a relationship. It acknowledges that fear is at the core of a betrayed partner's insecurity and reluctance to trust again. The episode highlights the importance of husbands understanding and empathizing with their wives' fears and concerns, rather than placing blame on them. It encourages husbands to recognize that their betrayal is the cause of core fear and emphasizes the need to love the fear out of their wives rather than expecting them to be less fearful.
Mindset Shift: Love and Intimacy
The episode emphasizes the need for a mindset shift when rebuilding trust, moving from rule-based actions to actions guided by love and empathy. It discusses the importance of husbands recognizing that trust building should come from a place of love, not just following rules. The episode highlights the significance of vulnerability, intimacy, and active agency in the rebuilding process. It emphasizes the role of husbands in initiating conversations, actively getting out in front of fear, and being willing to be vulnerable in order to establish intimacy and foster trust.
Struggles and Expectations
The episode acknowledges the challenges and setbacks that may occur during the trust-building journey. It reassures husbands that setbacks and failures are a normal part of the process, especially in the early stages. The episode advises husbands to examine their heart attitude and mindset, ensuring that their efforts come from a place of love and empathy. It also encourages open communication and dialogue between partners, with husbands actively seeking to understand and meet their wives' needs. Lastly, the episode emphasizes that these expectations should exist in all healthy marriages, not just those affected by betrayal.
In this episode - we talk about one facet of rebuilding trust. Jason mentions that the lack of trust for her is rooted in fear. I struggle with this (as you will hear at the beginning of the episode) because it feels like the issue is on her (ladies - I am here for you and standing up for YOU). Once we get over that hump - here are several things he can do to love the fear out of her: - Trust is destroyed at her expense, trust is rebuilt at his expense - Jason talks about a hobby that he chose to lose in order to rebuild trust. - A shift in mindset: “What I get to do versus what I have to do” in order to win back her heart. - Shifting from playing to not lose TO playing to win. - Getting out in front of fear: anything that activates fear, is something that you can have a conversation about. The conversation continues as we talk about the importance of him cultivating intimacy as well as developing character traits that she is looking for in order to feel safe, love (not fear) and in order to move through the process. All things that women can expect not because of betrayal but because of who God is calling him to be. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!
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