Attachment Isn’t the Enemy. The Struggle to Let Go Is

Jul 27, 2025

Exploring the nuances of attachment, the conversation highlights personal struggles and the idea that acceptance may be more beneficial than traditional letting go. Stories from listeners illustrate the challenges of nostalgia and self-worth, revealing how the pursuit of happiness can be counterproductive. Instead of forcing change, the focus shifts to simply allowing experiences to be. Emphasizing mindfulness, it encourages embracing the present moment without the pressure to control outcomes.

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INSIGHT

Attachment Fuels Suffering

Attachment causes more suffering than almost anything else in life according to Stephen Webb.
Letting go by force often fails; allowing things to be as they are reduces suffering.

ANECDOTE

Steven Webb's Cigarette Attachment

Steven Webb was deeply attached to cigarettes and the ritual around smoking.
He smoked for about 30 years despite health issues, illustrating strong addiction and attachment.

ADVICE

Open Hand Instead of Letting Go

Instead of forcefully letting go, just open your hand and allow what you hold to be as it is.
This acceptance reduces pressure and eases the struggle of attachment.

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Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.

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Steven's courses, podcasts and links: stevenwebb.uk

🧘 Episode Summary

In this episode of Stillness in the Storms, I talk about attachment. It's one of the biggest causes of suffering, but I'm not here to tell you to let go. I think that advice is nonsense. What if instead of trying to let go, we simply allowed things to be as they are?

I share what attachment has looked like in my life. From cigarettes to identity to the future I imagined that never arrived. You'll also hear from members of my WhatsApp group who told me what they find hardest to let go of. We cover nostalgia, self-worth, change, and why trying so hard is often the problem.

This is not about giving everything up. It’s about loosening the grip, opening your hand, and allowing what comes and goes to just be.

🎧 Why Listen

You are struggling to let go and nothing seems to work
You are attached to a past version of yourself or a future that never came
You want a down-to-earth take on mindfulness and Buddhist teachings that make sense in real life
You are tired of chasing happiness and need space to breathe

🌟 Quotes from the Episode

“Letting go is pants. It doesn’t work. Just open your hand and let it be.”
“You don’t have to give something up forever. Just give it up for one hour.”
“You’re not a smoker who gave up. You’re just someone who didn’t smoke this hour.”
“The minute you stop trying to be better, the better version of you starts to show up.”
“Buddhism doesn’t say don’t love. It says don’t cling.”
“Enjoy the moment but don’t become attached to it. Let it come and go.”

☕ Thank You

This podcast is free and always will be because of the people who support it. I do not run adverts. That’s a choice I make so you can tune in and hear what I have to say without interruption.

Huge thanks to

Senga – your five coffees came in just as I hit record

Michael, Dominique, Ulysses – yes, you bought 34 coffees, you legend

Nick, Julie, and Anne – thank you so much

And to all my monthly supporters – I see you and I’m deeply grateful

If you want to support the show and keep it advert-free, the link is in the notes. Supporters also get access to the private WhatsApp group where I share new meditations and episodes first, and where we talk honestly about the stuff that matters.