Money & Marriage: An Honest Convo About Our Finances

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In this week’s episode of Not Alone, Valeria and her husband Gary open up about their journey with money, what it symbolized in their childhoods, how they laid everything on the table when they first got together, and the transparency they’ve had with money ever since. They revisit pivotal moments that tested and strengthened their bond—like the time Gary’s big business deal fell through before their wedding and he gave Valeria the chance to walk away. Her response, “never say that to me again,” became a defining moment in their partnership. They talk about how they approach finances in a traditional way—Gary managing everything day-to-day while Valeria leans in with curiosity and questions—and the ways they don’t always see eye to eye on how their values were worked out along the way. Together, they share lessons learned, laugh over the “ROI” of Valeria’s nutrition degree that unexpectedly sparked her career in content creation, and offer advice for couples who struggle to have honest conversations about money. This episode is both vulnerable and lighthearted, pulling back the curtain on the realities of love, trust, and building a life together.

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What we talked about: 

0:29 - Setting up the conversation with Gary

3:07 - Start of the episode

4:30 - Gary’s childhood mindset on money

5:41 - The scarcity mindset

8:40 - Thinking of money in terms of necessity

10:06 - Valeria’s money mindset growing up

11:22 - Valeria’s mom crowdfunding with other single moms

12:24 - Vuori ad

14:42 - Financing basic needs

15:36 - The importance of financial literacy

16:32 - Valeria leaving home at 16 and making money

18:42 - People with fallback plans and people without

19:21 - Remembering their first conversation about money

20:33 - Valeria changing her approach to money

22:16 - Clearstem ad

24:30 - Gary’s big deal falling apart

26:24 - The outcome of losing out on big money

28:08 - Their traditional approach to finance

34:07 - The language difference around making money

35:30 - Agreeing on “what’s worth it” when spending

39:07 - Communication on money

39:33 - Disagreeing on how they work on or through things

42:21 - Best money they’ve ever spent

43:22 - The ROI on Valeria’s nutrition diploma

46:56 - Valeria being clueless on life and money

48:23 - What Gary wishes he knew earlier about money

52:02 - Tips for couples who struggle talking about money

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