163: ⁠The Psychology Behind Black-and-White Thinking

12 snips

Sep 26, 2025

Explore how faulty thinking can sabotage your dating life. Discover the pitfalls of black-and-white thinking, where one misstep leads to sweeping conclusions. Learn about catastrophizing, where anxiety inflates fears to epic proportions. Uncover mental filtering, which skews your perception toward the negatives. Join in as personal stories illustrate how we escape our pain through fantasies, and gain practical tools to challenge these unhelpful thoughts. It's time to untangle your mind and improve your love life!

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

ANECDOTE

Prison Bae Escapism Story

Sabrina describes finding a handsome man on Instagram while her mother was sick and using the fantasy as escapism.
The connection was entirely online, he was in prison, and they never met yet the fantasy soothed her pain.

INSIGHT

Brain Shortcuts Cause Dating Errors

Sabrina explains the brain prefers shortcuts because it processes millions of bits per second but only consciously handles a tiny fraction.
Those heuristics served survival but misfire in modern dating, producing quick, inaccurate judgments.

INSIGHT

Black And White Thinking In Dating

Black and white thinking forces complex dating experiences into binary categories like 'interested' or 'not interested.'
Stress and anxiety increase this either/or default because the brain prefers certainty over nuance.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Do you ever think, "If they don't text back, they're not interested"? Or assume one awkward moment means you have no chemistry? Your brain might be sabotaging your love life with faulty logic.

In Part 3 of our 5-part series, we're diving into the meat and potatoes of self-sabotage: the thinking errors that turn normal dating situations into full-blown crises. Today, we're breaking down the three main culprits—Black & White Thinking, Catastrophizing, and Mental Filtering—and why your brain uses these outdated shortcuts. I’ll even share a wild personal story (my "Prison Bae" saga) that perfectly illustrates how we create fantasies to escape our pain.

$300 off your first Prenuvo scan at https://prenuvo.com/?discount=SABRINA

Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE!
Enrollment for The Self Love Course, The Nervous System Course, and The Break Up Course is now closed. For your continued education and growth, please explore The Foundation Course, which is currently available.

Get Ad free HERE!
Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!
Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!
Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!

Please support our sponsors!

Live It Up is offering you 15% off your first order — including subscriptions — with code ZOHAR. Plus shipping’s always free. Head to letsliveitup.com/ZOHAR and use code ZOHAR for 15% off your first Super Greens order!
Find your curl confidence and take the Curl Quiz at Curlsmith.com to get 10% off your first purchase, or shop Curlsmith now at Ulta Beauty.
This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina
Head to www.greenchef.com/50SABRINA and use code 50SABRINA to get fifty percent off your first month, then twenty percent off for two months with free shipping.

Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.