The Psychology of your 20s

109. Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Jul 22, 2023

Why do we often act as our own worst critics? The podcast explores the psychological roots of self-criticism and its correlation with upbringing, societal pressures, and childhood experiences. It highlights the effects of overthinking and social comparison on self-worth. Listeners are introduced to empowering strategies like radical self-compassion and cognitive diffusion that can help silence the inner critic. The conversation emphasizes embracing self-love and acceptance as crucial steps toward enhancing mental well-being and resilience.

38:50

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Highlights

AI Chapters

Episode notes

The importance of realizing our own value and success

01:22

The Association Between Self Criticism and the Prefrontal Cortex

01:28

The Hidden Links Between Self-Deprecation and Self-Criticism

01:19

The Power of Personification

03:21

Intro

2min

Silencing the Inner Critic

8min

Unpacking the Inner Critic

13min

The Burden of Self-Criticism

8min

Cultivating Radical Self-Compassion

14min

Embracing Self-Compassion

3min

So often in life, we are our own worst enemies. The meanest and loudest voice in our head is our own. So why are we so hard on ourselves? In this episode we break down the psychological underpinnings behind our inner critic, from the proposed evolutionary role of negative self talk, to the influence of our upbringing including the distinction between conditional and unconditional positive regard, parental expectations and childhood bullying. We examine how social comparison and overthinking can contribute to a poor self perception but, also, how we can adopt the methods of radical self compassion and cognitive diffusion to silence that inner voice and be free from self judgement. Listen now!

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Harvard Business Review article: https://hbr.org/2021/05/stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself

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