172: Master Emotional Safety in 90 Seconds - Danny Silk

This week I sat down with one of my heroes and spiritual fathers, Danny Silk. If you’ve read The Way of the Dragon Slayer or attended one of our conferences, you know Danny carries deep wisdom in marriage, leadership, and communication. This episode is part of our Lead the Way series, where we’re equipping men to become the husbands their families need.

I shared a story about moose hunting in Alaska where, after shooting a bull moose at five yards with just a bow and no backup, I realized something wild: that moment was less terrifying than facing my wife’s emotions. Danny and I talked about how many of us men would rather face literal danger than emotional vulnerability with our wives. But if we want deep connection, we’ve got to face the internal battles—triggers, fear of rejection, and the desire to control.

Danny explained that one of the first steps to emotional leadership is abandoning the lie that we can control our wives. The real power lies in controlling ourselves. In hard conversations, the goal isn’t to fix or judge her—it’s to share about me. To say, “I felt [emotion] when [fact], and I need [emotionally honest need].” That level of vulnerability opens the door to connection. But if we come in swinging judgments, all we get back is defensiveness.

We talked about how staying emotionally present in conflict creates flexibility in a relationship. That’s the opposite of rigidity and fragility. The more tools and reps you have—soft start-ups, healthy boundaries, staying in the pocket—the more resilient your marriage becomes.

And if you want to win a fight, remember: if you “win” by controlling or punishing her, you’ve already lost. The real win is connection. The kind of connection where both people feel seen, heard, and safe. That’s our job as husbands—to open the door emotionally, spiritually, and physically. To bring peace into chaos. To make sure our wives never have to carry the masculine load alone.

Every man should learn this—because it's not your fault if you never saw it done right, but it is your responsibility now.

And that’s what this series is about: giving you the tools, reps, and mindset to sharpen your emotional leadership like a blade. Once you learn this skill, you’ll never forget it—and you’ll use it every single day.

Thanks again to Danny for pouring into us. If this episode helped you, send it to a friend. And remember—stay brave.

Book: https://a.co/d/6jewg37
Connect with Danny: https://www.lovingonpurpose.com/

0:00 – Introduction & Free Course Offer
1:15 – Why You Need a Community
5:10 – Unpacking the Moose Hunting Story
7:45 – Facing Emotions vs Facing Danger
10:20 – The Lie of Control in Relationships
12:55 – “Here’s How I Felt…” Communication Structure
15:40 – Setting Healthy Boundaries
18:05 – Soft‑Start Conversations & De‑Escalation
21:30 – Sharpening Your Emotional Toolset

ABOUT BRAVECO
We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.