Keep Talking Episode 114: Orna Donath - Regretting Motherhood, Part 2
Aug 2, 2024
Orna Donath, a sociologist and professor at Tel Aviv University, dives deep into the controversial topic of motherhood regret. She shares poignant accounts from women who describe motherhood as traumatic, highlighting the societal pressures that push women towards parenting. Orna discusses her new research on elderly, childless women, emphasizing their lack of regret and the need for healthy role models. She also explores how self-awareness can guide decisions about motherhood and the meaning of life without children, offering a refreshing perspective on societal norms.
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Motherhood Can Be Experienced As Trauma
- Orna Donath highlights that many women experience motherhood as trauma because they lose identity, autonomy, body, and relationships.
- She argues society pressures women to forget these harms to keep the pro-natal order intact.
Know Yourself Before Deciding
- Know yourself deeply: what makes you serene and what makes you miserable before deciding about motherhood.
- Use that self-knowledge to judge whether parenthood fits your life rather than yielding to societal assumptions.
Regret Is Politically Weaponized
- Donath reframes regret as not necessarily catastrophic and questions society's demonization of it.
- She suggests fear of regret is used to manipulate people into conforming to social norms.
