
KQED's Forum Patricia Lockwood on How Illness Can Give You ‘Another You’
Dec 5, 2025
Patricia Lockwood, a novelist and poet acclaimed for her deeply personal works, shares her surreal journey with long COVID. She describes navigating bizarre symptoms like 'Brian fog' and repetitive song refrains while trying to write 'a masterpiece about being confused.' Lockwood talks about the fear of losing her identity, the solace she found in K-dramas, and how writing helped her process the experience. She emphasizes the power of shared illness in strengthening relationships and reflects on her transformative recovery.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Surreal Visuals During Illness
- Patricia Lockwood described seeing gorillas in trees and feeling six inches beside herself during long COVID.
- She used humor to report surreal perceptions while still recognizing absurdity in the experience.
Song Lyrics Stuck On Repeat
- Lockwood experienced “The Refrains,” where song lyrics and lines repeated compulsively in her head.
- She thinks repetition helped her brain try to encode new memories during disorientation.
Keep A Relentless Notebook
- Keep a relentless notebook to record symptoms, thoughts, and small details during cognitive fog.
- Patricia Lockwood found notebooks anchored her and later provided material to reconstruct the experience.




