
The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno Breaking the Negative Cycle
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Jun 24, 2024 Melissa and Drew, a couple navigating their relationship, discuss anger, shutdown, and longing for connection. They open up about breaking negative cycles through understanding and expressing feelings. Explore how anger can be a call for connection and shutting down is a way to cope. Join them on their journey to deeper understanding and reconnection.
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Anxious–Avoidant Cycle Explained
- Melissa's anxiety and Drew's avoidance form a repetitive negative cycle that erodes connection.
- Their moves (pursue vs. retreat) unconsciously try to balance each other but create more distress.
Hospital Scare Triggered Old Trauma
- Melissa described a hospital scare where her fear and prior trauma sent her offline and frantic.
- She tried to mask upset to avoid more disconnection but eventually the anger built and took over.
Different Faces Of The Same Anxiety
- Outward calm can mask inner anxiety; both partners were dysregulated but showed it differently.
- Anxious partners 'hold' more visible distress while avoidants appear calm while also struggling.
