The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Breaking the Negative Cycle

34 snips
Jun 24, 2024
Melissa and Drew, a couple navigating their relationship, discuss anger, shutdown, and longing for connection. They open up about breaking negative cycles through understanding and expressing feelings. Explore how anger can be a call for connection and shutting down is a way to cope. Join them on their journey to deeper understanding and reconnection.
Ask episode
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
INSIGHT

Anxious–Avoidant Cycle Explained

  • Melissa's anxiety and Drew's avoidance form a repetitive negative cycle that erodes connection.
  • Their moves (pursue vs. retreat) unconsciously try to balance each other but create more distress.
ANECDOTE

Hospital Scare Triggered Old Trauma

  • Melissa described a hospital scare where her fear and prior trauma sent her offline and frantic.
  • She tried to mask upset to avoid more disconnection but eventually the anger built and took over.
INSIGHT

Different Faces Of The Same Anxiety

  • Outward calm can mask inner anxiety; both partners were dysregulated but showed it differently.
  • Anxious partners 'hold' more visible distress while avoidants appear calm while also struggling.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
Get the app