We Can Do Hard Things 241. Being Left Out: Navigating that Lifelong Ache
6 snips
Sep 14, 2023 The podcast explores the lifelong pain of being left out, discussing the impact, coping mechanisms, and navigating inclusivity. It delves into personal anecdotes, the difference between fitting in and belonging, and the complexities of exclusion in both children and adults. The speakers emphasize communication and empathy, avoiding self-abandonment, and the universal human experiences of inclusion and exclusion.
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
Abby's Childhood Exclusion Story
- Abby shares a childhood memory of being explicitly told she wasn't wanted at her friend's house at age 7 or 8.
- She felt baffled and hurt, an experience that deeply imprinted her sense of self-worth.
Left Out Feels Like Physical Pain
- Feeling left out triggers the same brain area as physical pain, the dorsal anterior cingulate.
- This evolutionary mechanism explains why social exclusion feels so intensely painful to humans.
Glennon's Imaginary Orangutan Escape
- Glennon recalls a childhood cafeteria memory where meanness caused her to dissociate and play with an imaginary orangutan friend.
- This dissociation served as a survival mechanism to cope with exclusion and pain.