Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Stop People Pleasing and Start Honoring You! 55: How to Ask For Help
In this episode, MaryAnn Walker helps listeners learn how to ask for help.
MaryAnn identifies common thoughts that hinder seeking help, such as not wanting to be a burden, fearing it signifies weakness, or seeking to prove one's capability. She emphasizes that people pleasers often suppress their own needs due to their fear of rejection or disrupting relationships, which prevents them from asking for help when they genuinely need it.
The podcast highlights a paradox where people pleasers are willing to help others but also struggle with asking for assistance themselves. This pattern can create an imbalance in relationships, limiting vulnerability and true connection. MaryAnn compares relationships to a tennis match, pointing out that the absence of reciprocal requests hampers deep connections.
She acknowledges the challenge of being rejected when asking for help, suggesting that accepting people's responses at face value can lead to healthier perspectives. MaryAnn encourages starting with small requests to rewire the brain's discomfort around seeking help and emphasizes that vulnerability, rather than being a weakness, is a courageous act that nurtures connection.
The podcast underscores the importance of clear and direct communication vs passive communication and hints which can lead to misunderstandings and resentments. MaryAnn advises making explicit requests to create balance and allow others to fulfill needs. She concludes by encouraging listeners to practice making explicit requests and recognizing the value of vulnerability in fostering meaningful relationships.
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