ERP 003: 6 Ways To Be Supportive (When Your Partner Wants Your Attention)

What are the ways you offer support when your partner is having a difficult time? While most of us will have a few answers to this question, it may be another story in the heat of the moment. Picture your partner being very upset, see what happens for you internally when you imagine this scenario. It is common to feel a sense of tightening in your body or have some type of reaction or concern. You don't want you partner to feel bad - you want to help, but you might not know how. What do you do?

In this episode, I discuss six ways to offer support. These can be options for you to consider the next time, your partner is having a difficult time and is wanting your support. Throughout this episode, I offer suggestions, examples, and tips. At the end of the day, I want to encourage you to ask your partner what would feel most helpful.

1. Listening: Offering your undivided attention and focus.

2. Emotional Attunement: Verbally or nonverbally staying connected with what your partner is expressing. Staying present.

Short animated video about empathy (with Brene Brown) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw Reflective listening practice/article http://drjessicahiggins.com/effective-communication-tool/

3. Offering Feedback: If your partner is interested in your feedback, offering your ideas, insight, or suggestions, with the intention to help.

Video mentioned https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg John Gray's book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Platinum Rule article http://drjessicahiggins.com/new-ways-loving/

4. Challenge: Offering a different perspective or different way of looking at the situation that relates to your partner's bigger vision or value. Being curious and wondering (with love).

5. Encouragement: Offering reassurance and affirmation to your partner. Letting your partner know they can do it. Believing in your partner, and seeing the strength in them.

Dr. Peter Pearson & Dr. Ellyn Bader.

6. Physical Presence: Offering physical affection and comfort (i.e. high-five, hug, pat on the back).

I hope you are able to give some of these suggestions a try, and I would love to hear your thoughts.

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Thank you! ❤